my 94 yr old great gramma is paying me $50 each saturday to come and help her....so i got $50 today to do 2 loads of wash for her (her whites and her colors) down in the laundry room in her building....and she had me go to the grocery store for a few things....i walked over to the store cuz i wanted the exercise...ED has me taking stairs, and walking to places no matter how bad the neighborhood is...guess im in that mindset that nothing bad will happen to me...whether it be getting robbed or dying from a heart attack/stroke brought on by ED...in my head, these things are impossible...what a fool i am....so all in all, minus the gas it took to get to my great grams (about an hr and a half when u add up both ways) i made about $35, definitely not too shabbyanother thing that surprised me today was...when i got home from my great grams house, i was telling my mom about it....and she said "hey u didnt even notice" and i was like "notice what?" and she said "look at the tree"....and there on top of our christmas tree was the star that i had wanted up...and the ugly new blue one was taken down....guess my opinion means something still......i dont know y, but that little action taken by my mom made me feel as though i still matter....and what i think still matters....this may be a very merry christmas this yr after alljust a side note....still no change on the ED side of things...and im trying to keep this entry as positive as possible cuz i find that if i focus on the positive when i can, it helps me to feel more positive...so i dont wanna talk about how shitty im doing eating wise....ill leave that for another entry =P
Replies
Great job on thinking positive!! I am so proud of you, and helping out others always makes for a better day!
Isn\'t it funny how out attitudes can change from one journal to the next, even in the same day! I see that as a spiritual experience, like you help a 94 year old lady and the universe rewards you with the special star on the tree. Total karma! I\'m so proud of you Miss Melissa. XOXO
:-) is all I got for ya!
Glad you got to visit with your Gramma. :) And, how nice that the star that you like is on top of the tree. Makes me smile. :) xoxo
haha im laughing cuz this is the second journal ive read since i wrote my whole \"i want to be honest, not all positive all the time\" that someone wrote abt trying to be POSITIVE! im like \"oh crapppp\" haha!
anyway reading abt the star really made me tear up a little bit...its a small action but has huge meaning...u do matter hun, dont let urself question that!
keep up the positive thoughts! i know how hard that is to do.
im so happy you had a good day!
YAY for positivity!!!
Well, your family still thinks you and your opinion matters a lot. That must make you feel great. Good for you. Maybe it will be good letting them know more often about how you feel.