so depressed...so detached...so lonely...didnt get to talk to a single living soul until 4:00 pm...and that was only because my school had classes today so i got to talk to my friend john...but that was only a few words cuz the professor was reviewing for wednesday's test (another one ill most likely fail)well i think i know y people with EDs often commit suicide...and that would be due to them feeling exactly how im feeling at this very moment...hopeless, worthless, tired, few up, unloved.......misunderstood.... the very people who gave me life have given up hope on me!!! for this reason, i am sold on the idea that i am HOPELESS...i will either die an early death (no im not gonna kill myself....well not intentionally) or i will meander through the rest of my life just barely managing things...cuz as everyone around me (including myself) has made quite clear, i am dead already...destined for a life of nothingi want to cry....but i have no one to hold me and comfort me...except for ED... im sorry but those of u who believe in god...i feel that u r sadly deluded and blatantly misled.....if there were such a being, y would there be so much suffering in the world? and dont anyone give me that crap about if we didnt know suffering then we wouldnt know happiness bullshit....ive suffered ....and now i wanna be done!!!! but nooooooo apparently i get to suffer my whole life through....where the fuck is this happiness that is being preached? hello? jesus?anyone? yea...didnt think so.......
Replies
I for one do believe in God and I know he allows suffering but it is our choice to continue with it or get help and really get to the bottom of the depression which is the main reason for our suffering all because of a chemical inbalance. Just keep holding on and try....trying is all you have left, it\'s not going to be perfect but it\'s worth a shot! If you ever want to talk you know I\'m always here.
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way...Depression and ED just plain suck...I am just going to say it... I hate that word, I don\'t let my students use it but I am going to use it on ED.. I hope your night goes better!!
I\'m here to hold you. Even if we\'re a whole country away, I am sending you big hugs.
oh i understand yuu hun.i agree with yuu 100% on god but not on how yuu see yuurself.
yuu are worth something.yuur worth alot even if yuu dont see it.i know it sounds minor but yuu are worth so much to me and i cant stand to see yuu care so little about yuurself.yuu are amazing..even if yuu cant see it now.
i am here for yuu whenever yuu need me.
huggggs x 10045794658585238452384546456423417612986
Hey...you are NOT hopeless...you feel bad..and that is reason enough to change and find some happiness....recovery is hard but its wonderful once you\'re over the hill...you can watch the sun again...see the great road infront of you....sorry if this kinda sounds fruity and preachy but I hope it helps you a little..:)
Two quotes to repeat to yourself:
\"This too shall pass\"
\"The best is yet to come (TBIYTC)\"
Yes, they may not be helpful or believable right now, but you fake it till ya make it babe. And you are gonna make it despite what you may feel right now...
Hey if i were there id give you a big hug,i hear what your saying with the god thing its hard to beleive when your feeling so low and things are going badly but you need to be positive things will be ok x
Hey there,
i\'m sorry to hear that you are so down. There are a lot of people here that care about you and admire you (i\'m one of them) we all have faith in you - and I hope that you can find faith in yourself - stay strong, I really believe that you and everyone else here can find happiness \"happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light\" - that\'s from harry potter, stupid i know, but for some reason I always liked that quote.
I totally know w you mean about God not helping the suffering. I too am ready to be helped. Everyday I say \"God, please help me.\" I\'m still waiting for his help. I think I\'ve just started to lose hope in God.
i dont believe in god... used to but not anymore with all the suffering on here alone... and else where in the world... no way jose! xxx
I am so sorry you are so down and have no one around. I am concearned about your paragraph on why people with eds commit suicide. I know you didnt say this is how you feel but I just want to make sure this isnt how you feel. But if it is, please lean on somebody. Even if its somebody you will know just for a few hours. In terms of God, I stopped believing for that very reason. As many people are are of on here, I come from a rough background, and when I lost my father (my rock, and my protector) I gave up my faith. How could someone so powerful and so good make someone so good suffer so much for so long, and why would he take a way the one good and loving person in my life? Anyways back to you, this is your journal after all, please have hope that a lot of people care about you on here. Reach out to us. We care about you so much!
I am once again not trying to be against of what everyone says, but you don\'t seem to want help...? Why will other people help you, when you don\'t want it. I am referring to \'God\' even though I do not believe in him, I believe in positive energy....
I am not trying to bring you down because I wish every minute I could be there for you. I wish I could be that person for you to cry on, but you have to find something within yourself to take the first step to healing yourself. Once you do that, the peace will follow, and you will discover who you really are, etc..... I am just so sorry you are this sad because I know exactly how you feel, and the things I share with you is how I am beating it.
I love you.