another listless weekend day....no work tomorrow either...but i do have school even though it's veterens' day....i don't get it either.....but w/e i don't make the rules....not one's that don't pertain to my ED that is....u know what keeps running through my head day in and day out¿?¿? it's not "missy your fat" it's "missy it is POSSIBLE for u to get fat....this is a possiblilty for anyone so if u don't watch it...POW" every food i let pass my lips, makes me think of the reprocussions that it could have on my body.......shut up head shut up brain shut up ED!!!!does anyone on here believe in life after death¿?¿? i'm a little skeptical but i think that hope is all we have sometimes.....i feel like i'm dead at this very moment....maybe not medically, but in every other sense of the word....i am just a shell of who i used to be, who i could be, and if there is a life after this metaphorical death, then i will be able to break free from this shell and be me....and never have to apologize for it....so until the day that i really medically die, i shall believe that i can overcome this ED and this death like life it has given me and trade it in for life.........prescious prescious life...it's been so long...i wonder if i'd recognize it if i got it back
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I believe in life after death... And I believe that when you recover not only will you recognize \'life\', but you\'ll feel a great sense of freedom and pride that you overcame the deadly Ed. The important thing to do is to hold onto that freedom and pride so you don\'t relapse, as I have one too many times...
When you let go of ED, you\'ll find yourself...I believe that you only have one physical life on earht and only one chance to live it...but you have many chances within that one life to make it right and to make it worthwhile...to make it happy......I hope you can break free of ED and enjoy life..you know you\'re worth it! :)
I feel the same way girl! I know I am not fat right now, but the fear if gaining weight and feeling awful about it is what holds me immobile. And I try to remind myself time and time again that gaining a bit of weight will not change who I am or the value of my soul, but I just feel so guilty and out of control. I wish I could take away your fear and my fear of weight gain. I think that once we just let it happen and live through it and let our bodies find where they are at a happy, healthy weight, then the fear will ease up. For a while after I gained weight in treatment, the fear was greatly reduced because I wasn\'t so under weight that I had to worry about everything I ate making me gain. But when we are underweight, it is scary because our bodies want to grab onto whatever they can. I believe that we can both get through it. We just must be brace and endure the suffering for a while. Stay strong and keep believing in recovery because you can do it once you dig yourself out of the hole!
*brave not brace
If it means anything I feel exactly the way you do right now. I believe in life after death and I also believe we must try to live our best lives. I knew someone who was faced with death and she was so happy and strong - just have to fight through it all. I think in time, when we are all ready, we can overcome our inner demons and live the life we were meant to live, and that includes you too Missy. My mantra lately has been \'live for today because life is precious\'. xoxoxo
but the reprocussions that not eating is having on yuu. its even worse.
i dont believe in life after death or god for that matter.but i know what yuu mean about already feeling dead.its not something thats going to go away one day when yuu wake upp but it will go away one day.yuu have to find what makes yuu happy in life to make yuu feel alive.
Why not get rid of it now? Why wait till death? Just a thought, I am not trying to provoke you.
I just hate seeing you so unhappy when there is such a different world out there other than EDs....