how am i feeling today? a wee bit depressed and alot cold...brrr...god damn, would mother nature turn on the fucking heat? come on global warming...where are u?....the weekends with nothing to do are killing me...my friends are all working...and im therefore at home...with my parents who are being very cold to me....not the best recipe for happiness.....i went to work today and am feeling a little bit better...the little toddlers are remembering my name...and this little girl named grace who will only let people she is very comfortable with take her to the potty (if someone else takes her, tears are involved) went to the potty with me...no tears.....every other time ive taken her, shes bawled her eyes out....so that made me feel good...the kids are accepting and liking me! lol to tell u guys the truth, i couldnt wait to go to work to see them today...my tummy is all better...back to the concaveness i have come to know.....and my sickness is all gone!! i was up and raring to go!!!im skipping my night class to attend this training for my job...it's a 2 hr long presentation on child obesity....so i think my ED will keep me very attentive and critical.....im goin cuz i havent gone to any of the trainings yet...so i figure i should go to one on a night i know i wont have a quiz...and well im failing this class anyways...just like all my other ones....god im such a loser....i think im doin ok in one of my classes....1 out of 3....hmmm the odds still arent in my favormrs karen has taken to trying to get me to nibble on crackers and such during the day......she doesnt know who shes up against...lol...not a single cracker or other food item passed my lips today.....mrs karen meet ED...ED meet mrs karen........... EDIT: (5 hrs after original entry)....i am now back from that work training...and I AM SO TRIGGERED right now....i was stuck in a room full of women listening to a presentation on calories, and the food pyramid....the women who were in there with me all talked about how little they ate (even though most of the were overweight) and how many cals this and how many cals that)...and the woman who was preaching this healthiness was fat as well! and she was all "when i go out to eat, i take half of the food home for lunch the next day" and this woman sitting next to me upon hearing that 2000 cals a day is the normal recommendation said "wow thats alot of calories" when she had just said that she had a fish fry last night...(uh last i checked....a fish fry dinner is MEGA CALORIES!)....and omg they had us write down everything we have eaten in the past 24 hrs....and while all the women around me were lying their fatasses off and writing less than they actually ate, i was sitting there lying what little ass i do have off pretending that i actually ate something!....here was my grand lie when i was done breakfast: 4 oz of fat free yogurt, 20 oz black coffee, 1 pck reg oatmeal made with water.......lunch: pb&j sandwich, apple, water.....dinner: veg burger with bun and ketchup, 5 cups steamed broccoli, diet coke....snack 4 oz fat free yogurt, 5 carrot sticks, water........LMAO as if! thats alot of food! and i bet when i get analyzed they will tell me that i dont eat enough (based on the above lie!...) when in reality, at that point, all i had really consumed was the coffee, diet coke, and water....but i wasnt about to write that down!...u know what ive realized? the whole world is running on ED thoughts....just most of the people out there dont have the will power to act on these thoughts....like i heard one girl say "just dont eat anything, then u'll be safe" upon learning about food poisoning, and also about obesity.........grrrrrrrrrr.........ED SHUT UP.....ok fine just go ahead and talk right over the rational missy voice who tried to calm her down during the presentation tonight by saying "missy, these women are not diet competition for u...u eat about 450 cals a day, they eat about 5 times that...."...but still ED wanted the bitch to shut up when she went ahead and informed everyone that a regular sized bagel is 4 servings ....ED knows this...but he doesnt want everyone else to know it to!