well i won $40 at bingo last night...spent $10 to get in...so i made $30....guess that will go towards buying my safe food for the week...damn my parents for not buying me food that i would eat....is there a sign somewhere that says "dont feed the anorexic?"my mom is treating me like a 2nd class citizen....which is how my father normally treats me...she goes through stages where she's pissed off at me for having an ED and therefore is cold and distant towards me, then she'll go and be normal towards me like my sister is all of the time...treating me like a person rather than an illness....my dad just treats me like im an ED...and therefore isn't kind to me at all....i just hope that my mom goes back into the i can look past ur weaknesses and love u for who u r right now....i just hope that she doesn't get stuck in this stage....it already sucks enough having one parent permanently in this stagetonight my great aunt and great uncle are coming over for dinner one last time b4 they head off to texas for the winter....guess ill be goin out to panera for coffee while the big dinner is goin on....i always remember how at this one family therapy session, my dad said that they do want me at dinner...but i know that this isnt true...i just make it stressful....so id rather make myself scarce....i baked today which i havent done in awhile....i dont do it much anymore cuz i usually get the snide "ur not gonna eat it so y do u make it?" remarks....but i made an apple crumble pie...ED loves baking....good way to pass the time and a good way to make other people fatter....recipe calls for milk? well the only milk we have is skim....better use the heavy cream and just not tell anyone....bwhahaha.....dang, i shouldnt be allowed near food.....i love to hate it...but yet, i hate to love it
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i know what you mean! why is it that the thought of other people getting fatter is so appealing? i\'m always trying to persuade my friends to eat junk food... well done for the bingo win!!
Mmmm, apple pie. Haha. Yay for adding cream- you know I\'d have done it too. ;) My dad also treats me like I AM an ED, but I very firmly told him I AM NOT. I love you so much, Missy. Please don\'t ever give up because I\'m here to hold you up.
As for the money- woohoo. Take care of yourself, yeah? I\'m sorry I haven\'t been online very much- it\'s lame but I\'ve been trying to busy myself around the house by cleaning and all that jazz.
I am so sorry that you dont have constant support with your family. So many people dont, and its vital. I am glad that you are having fun passing the time with baking! I love it too, but just give it all away! Hang in their and never give up!
Man that family support is a tough thing, one thing to positive to look at you won $30 bucks and your sister hasnt changed! Anyway hang in there and don\'t give up!
OMG you sound like me with the whole baking deal...or I sound like you..he he..yeah we didn\'t go to the past 2 christmas diner\'s at my moms cousin because of me...I hate everyone always starring and praising me everytime I did take a bite...but this year I am a lot better so we mgiht go...well good luck with everything..jenny
It sucks not getting support from the people you need it from. But you are right, they\'re angry at the disorder, not you baby. Because you are not your eating disorder. It\'s easy to blame the thing that\'s taking their daughter from them. Remember that, and don\'t let it consume you. Keep your head above water, tell your mom you need her. It\'s okay to need someone else besides ED. You\'ll make it.
Ha,ha,ha, Missy, I loved that last paragraph! I\'ve done the same thing with the cream. I know you didn\'t use the cream intentionally, but everyone THINKS the anorexic would only skim or water, and then they can\'t figure out why our recipies taste so good! (The only thing I do differently than you is that I WILL eat the lovely, delectable apple pie!)
bakeing...ha..my mind says ome of of the same thing but it also reminds me that i\'m just gunaa binge and bee fat...ohh well...whats a girl to do? :]
i\'m srry about the dinner thing...it must be kinda hard to be cut out of those kinda events...maybe yuu could try going?...they shouldnt make it more stressful for themself just cause yuur there...thats THEIR fault...not yuurs.