i HATE food, i HATE calories, i HATE my thin body, id HATE a fat one even more (please dont anyone say how about a healthy one?), i HATE how food has such an effect on us......too much and u will gain weight and will feel bad about urself and be subjected to others ridicule, too little and u are depressed cold weak etc etc etc........i just wish that we could all pop a pill once a day that would give us the exact amount of nutrients our bodies needed...no more no less....or i wish that food were an option.....and if we ate it, our bodies wouldnt change from it or from the lack of it...it would be like make-up.....totally optionalso tired.........so sad.......just dont wanna be me anymore...im so tired of this game.......i just wanna be someone else....is that wrong?i got stuck in the baby room for 80% of my shift today...i hate that room...i have never really been around babies so they just aggitate me....im getting better with them though...im not so afraid of breaking them anymore....but i still find myself exasperated, and wincing when they start to wail....i just wanna pawn them off onto someone else at that point...i dont want my boss to walk in and think that i am a terrible employee b/c the babies cry while im in that room........ok i need some positives to try and lift me from this depression....ok....let's think here....... i read some of my psych book yesterday so i knew everything my professor was saying today.......the weather is pretty nice.......ok that is all ive got people....like i said....im a tad depressed =(
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hi missy! I just wanted to thank you for all of the support and encouragement you give me! you are a very kind, supportive and sweet person (there are some positives for you!) they\'re true too.
ps: i don\'t like babies either! i don\'t find them cute or cuddly just loud smelly and annoying.
When ED is quiet...what do you see yourself doing for fun? with your life? i try to ask myself these things to try to get out of thinking about food and poor health and negativity because it gives you something to look forward to.
I wish we could take a pill and meet all of our requirements... That would be so good! I know what you mean about babby\'s. I like them when their quiet, but other than that! The hell with you! I hope you feel better soon!
hey missy im feeling similar to u today!!!!!! but yea the weather is pretty nice here too! Babies will be babies and that\'s all they know to do to get there needs met cry! Dont feel bad about not particularly having that interest in them i like the toddlers better too babies can be soooooooo draining!!!! and frustrating! i havent had a lot of experience with them either but will have to in my course im doing!!!!! i feel a lil awkward being left with them too!!!!! I dont wanna be me eitha!!!! I wanna be sum1 without any problems with food sum1 who can live life day to day with no daily burden of thkn how much food and exercise and how fat they may be getting im sik of this shit too!!!!!! I dont want to suffer this way 4 eva eitha! just wanna b able to cope with life and be happy on a daily basis!
I\'m sorry you are feeling blue..... Maybe you should let yourself be sad for once instead of trying to find all these positives that you seem to know how to do them, but maybe you just want to be sad for once and for everyone to be ok with that when in reality you should be ok with it. So be sad! I hope this makes sense, but we have to embrace all our emotions and learn how to deal with them all. :)
ohh hun.
i am sososo sory.i know the pain yuur feeling and it suck behind what anyone can say to try and make it better.truthfully yuu are an amazing person..yu dont have to be anyon else...but wanting to be someone else it totally normal.i think that yuu need to find someone to talk to.yuu seem to be more and more upset these days.i just want you to be happy.i\'m here if you ever need to talk.huggggggggs. :/
Yeah, I can understand how the baby room could be a bit overwelming. When I worked in a daycare I was in the baby room for a couple months, just in the mornings because we had low enrollment in the two\'s. I couldn\'t wait for 2 o clock to roll around and I would be able to go back into my classroom. Babies are only cute and adorable when they are your own. I didn\'t care much for any of those babies at Trinity, but I often wish for my daughters to be babies again.
I often wish I was someone else too. When I\'m out and I see someone who is pretty, thin, happy, etc. I wonder what it would be like to be them. I used to wish this everyday, but know I\'m just trying to accept me the way I am and I\'m beginning to realize that no one has the perfect life. You\'re a great person who is just going through some stuggles at the moment, but all is going to be fine.
Go somewhere and scream, in fact do it with a friend because it will be hilarious and you will crack up laughing, hopefully it makes you feel better and have a bit of fun!
I\'ve worked with babies for the last 18mos...when they cry they are just frustrated because they cannot communicate their needs to you. If you think about all of things you need when you are frustrated, it can help you figure out what they need. Sometimes it\'s just to listen to a heartbeat and have their backs patted:)
I have something else to add to your list of positives...You are a wonderful person and a supportive friend...take care!
Christ, you have a lot of friends. I was just going to say that I understand how you don\'t want to be yourself and you want to be someone else. When you stop becoming a number on the scale and start to realize the unique and wonderful things that make up Melissa, you might just grow to love her. XOXOXO