who wakes up in the morning and just doesnt wanna get up outta bed and face things? who doesnt have the energy to sit up and haul their booty outta beddy bye in the morning? if either of these statements ring true for u, then u and i are in the same boat.....or bed rather.....climb on in, there is plenty of room for all of us (my bed is big and most of us are tiny)......woulnt that be the life? well life doesnt wait for anyone to want to get outta bed...so i just force myself to get up, plaster a smile on my face, live, walk around, and pretend that i have the energy to do it all....
had a devious thought last night....im at 117, and i had said that if i went to 115 then i would start picking up with my eating....then i thought...hmmm...what if i just ignore my weight and dont get on the scale.....if i dont see it at 115, then i can pretend that im above it!....haha....i know how stupid this is....cuz ignoring it isnt gonna fix anything...but it was fun to think about
got my gadoopa outta bed this morning, took a shower, and then went shopping for my bf's bday gift...bought him some adidas shoes....and then i decided that it's 2 soon in our relationship for gift giving, and that ill keep them til xmas and if we r still together then i will give them to him...if not, and my new bf doesnt have size 11 feet, then i will just return them....i told james that i think it's too soon to be gift giving, and he said he understood...but i dont think he does....i just think he is all what she says goes....which is part of the reason im happy with this relationship...i have all of the control/say in it....and he is more into me than i am into him....hes a great guy dont get me wrong...but its so hard to be 100% in a relationship when im struggling/having a love affair with ED...so right now, im just kind of indifferent about the relationship....im fine with him, im fine without him
got a new pair of pants i had ordered from alloy in the mail today....i had ordered a size 3 and was worrying that they would be too small....but they are actually roomie on me.....
....ED is ecstatic....and im not so sure....0 isnt too far off....hell im pretty sure that i could get into a 0 at some stores.....i am at that point where i am becoming strikingly skinny....i will do something about it soon....i hope
Replies
melissa.... im worried .... i love ya girl..., x
I am so proud of you for being focused towards recovery! It does take time, and involves a lot of trickery of the mind... I wish you luck and am always here for you...
It\'s about dam time that you invited me into your bed!!!!
:[
i know not being able to get outta bed..but not for the same reason.its a pain in the ass anyway it goes.
Hi, can I snuggle in bed with you? Haha.
Okay, I gotta ask a pretty dumb question, but how the hell are you going to just \"resume eating\" again at 115? Sounds like an excuse to me, to be honest.
I hate shaking when I get out of bed... I know how you feel. It isn\'t good. You need help. I need help too... We all need help before it\'s to late, don\'t let it be to late!
I know my journal replies are sounding the same over and over again, but I do mean what I say!
When I ask, what are you going to do about it, you don\'t seem to really have a plan, but that you will eat again when you hit 115. ? I\'m not trying to sound forceful or annoying. It\'s just... sometimes we need to take charge and do something, even when you don\'t want to do anything, but lye in our beds.
I\'m always around! I love ya.