just had the biggest convo with my rents that i have had in awhile....we talked about school...and i told them that i no longer wanna be an accountant and that i wanna resign that course...but i didnt know what that would mean about my status....cuz it would drop me to part time...they said that it would be ok as long as nothing happens so that med insurance finds out.....then we discussed what i could possibley be...and they suggested math teacher...and im likin this idea....working with kids....teaching what i know....and grading papers....paid vaca time....holidays and summers off....weekends off....i wont be rolling in the dough...but money isnt everything.....i had said maybe clinical psych...but my mom was like honey u need to fix urself b4 u try to fix other people...she was like no offense but i would take one look at u and be like this woman cant help me, she cant even help herself.......they told me that i need to start working on myself...cuz im letting my anorexia win...my dad said that he had thought once upon a time that i was stronger than this disease and that i would beat it but now hes not so sure.....they said that i need to stop spending so much time on "anorexia sites" (DS!!!!!)...which i later explained wasnt pro ana in my defense....i told my mom that this is my only form of support at the moment...no therapist...no dr...no one to talk to who gets it....and my mom was like well thats ok...u just need to limit urself...ur more than anorexia...but ur letting it take over ur life.....my dad said that im eating the same foods over and over and over again....and that he has it memorized what i get at the grocery store...to which i said "isnt it funny though...thats the definition of mania...doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results........maybe im just fucking crazy" he said im not crazy, just lost in my disorder..........so that's where i am right now...my parents think i am gonna end up back in the hospital very soon if i keep going like i am....and i have resigned my accounting class cuz i was failing so bad....and i think i wanna be a teacher....and my dad actually had a convo with me....granted in the convo he told me that im looking like shit again...but hey...its a start....right? =(my bmi at the moment.......16.2
Replies
Your parents sound great, they are very honest with you which is very good and seem very supportive from what you have written your very lucky. Maths teacher sounds like a good job for you and all that time off that teachers get off has to be a bonus! You are stronger then your ed and one day you will be free of it just take one day at a time. Have a great week.
Rich
I love that you are thinking about being a teacher! My students actually keep me going...I love them! Anyway its great that you actually had a conversation with your parents. I know how hard that I can be. Hang in there!
I know you\'re all over the place with decisions, but you don\'t have to decide your future right this moment. I love how you journal and toss all your thoughts around so you can see where you stand in the middle of them. XOXO
I am glad to hear that you were able to confront your parents about what you were thinking. Its a great first step! I wouldnt worry to much about wanting to help other people wile you are sick. I have an ed, and I am a psychology major. It is hard, but it is worth it. Like you say, its not about the money! I wish you all the best!
It\'s good that you had a conversation with your parents....I hope it didn\'t make you feel bad. If so....please go and talk to them again and make sure they know you want to feel good after the conversation ends, empowered. If you want to be a math teacher, you go and be a math teacher. Everyone has problems, every profession has problems. people think I\'m problem-free because I\'m a nurse. Be whatever you want to be.....there is some positivity for you. Yes, you might be not doing well right now in terms of your ED but you WILL overcome it. You did it once, you can do it again. You have my support and everyone else on here. Go for it girl!!!!!!!!!!! xo
a convo it wayyy better than no convo..and babe..they were right in alot ways..i know how hard it is to see that parents a sumtimes right but...yuu are lost ib yuur disorder and that if yuu keep going like this..yuu\'ll have to go to the hospital...which sucks.i dont want that to happen and yur parents dont either.
dropping that class is goood.if its not sumthing yuu wanna do, then why take it?and it should take aleast alittle stress off.and if yuu wanna teach..go for it!do whatt yuu enjoy... :]
great decision to drop the class. it must be so hard to have your parents watching your every move, knowing everything about your ED. they seem to be knowledgeable about anorexia. as you say...you\'ll get help on your own time, when you\'re ready. i hope it\'s sooner than later for your health. blah blah blah..i know you hear that all the time. ugh i need to set a time limit on here too ahh i\'m here too much.
It\'s really really good that you;re talking to your parents girl. I\'m proud of you for that. And it\'s good that they know what\'s going. So how about getting you back in therapy? Keep talking, keep tuning in to what\'s going on inside. Your mom is right, you are more than this disorder. And you can beat it. Trust.
I\'m so glad that you had a good conversation with your parents, especially your dad. I bet you feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Take care. Hugs!
you are more than your weight.