***** WARNING WEIGHT CALORIES MENTIONED*****disclaimer: I am not writing to make anyone try and cure me, i dont mean to sound whiny while im journaling......this is my journal and i feel as though im allowed to write what i want...if anyone feels as though i am just blubbering and wallowing rather than doing something about my problems, that is because im not ready to change yet....so please...just let me vent...and please dont anyone leave comments telling me to eat, to change, etc etc etc.....i am not eating enough.....i am not sleeping enough.....i am not studying enough.......what am i doing enough? thnking about my ED, coming on DS, reading for pleasure, shopping, getting coffee........i am 6 ft tall......and am 121 after a days worth of liquids are in me...so im probably 119.........im wasting away before my eyes again.......and all i can seem to do about it is to restrict restrict restrict..........520 calories yesterday..........530 today......having a hard time convincing myself to do those extra 10...........im swimming in my size 4 pants now........hello size 2 again........miss me? cant say ive missed u too much.....but id rather see u again then see size 6 or  size 8...........just as long as i dont reacquaint myself with my old friend 00........im so tired.....after working 7:30-1:30 i came home and intending to sleep for 1 hr and just skip 1 class.......but i slept for 3 hrs and missed 2 classes......im gonna catch my last class of the day though....god damnit im such a fucking fuck upim so cold.......and winters coming.....i cant do it..........i cant make it thru another winter......my mom said that im not allowed to use my space heater this winter....and that has been my saving grace up til now.........and when did chairs get so hard? havent these companies ever heard of padding?........im so tired of this game........but i keep playing......i know its rigged...but im hard headed and seem to be so sure that there is a way to win......