i feel as though i am just merely existing rather than living...i hate this feeling that i have when it comes to the quality of my life...i feel like i am just watching other people live rather than being able to do so myself....like if life were a kickball game and people were chosen for teams, i wouldnt be the last person picked...i wouldnt be picked at all....im the one ignored for the team of the living...forced to sit on the sidelines and watch others learn, love, laugh, and grow.........i know that when i am more ready to change, im probably gonna have to limit my time on here....i am on here WAY too much...i am obsessed....i wish i were obsessed with my schoolwork...then maybe i wouldnt be failing so miserabley....god my ED is taking things from me left and right.......i love the feeling that i get when i can help others out...whether it's just being there for a friend when their world is crashing down around them, or helping a toddler go pee pees on the big kid toilet, or helping a child learn how to use a fork to spear their food, the feeling is amazing....even if i cant help myself at the moment, id like to know that i can help others and am not totally useless.......
Replies
I used to work at a day care too and I know how great it can be to be with little people all day who don\'t seem to care what you look like, or what you do as long as you are there for them...to bad life isn\'t that simple huh?
I so understand where you are coming from!! HOw did work go? Hope you have a great night!
you are a tremendous help to so many ppl missy! and a very much loved friend on here to me!
You do help baby. You\'ve been really wonderful to me and to others on here. I see it, and I love you for it. But you\'re right. You\'ve got to be there for yourself too. I want you to be around to help others. If you let this ED win...you won\'t be. Think of that when it gets hard, think of everyone who cares about you, who appreciate all that you do.
i am the smae way.i love being to help out others but i can never/want the help in return.
i\'m gunna tell yuu sumthing yuu said to me awhile back..lifes short and its not gunna wait for yuu..its the truth..hard has it is...i honest to god think yuu can bet this babe.its gunna/is fuckn hard but yuu can do it.
Living vicariously is our only way of living it seems, these days.
My thoughts are with you Missy
wow i so understnad where your comming from
even though this is a site for people who are motivated towards recovery i found that for me, it became a bit of a trap because i became so dependant on it. and it sort of started fostering my e.d in a way which is why i havnt been on here so much lately. im still on , sometimes everyday but not for as long and dont write as many journals etc.its tough ive got to admit,
i think i was a bit of an adict but have a think about what d.s is really doing for you - a bit of a re=evaluation per-sey and maybe it will be good to change up your routine a bit.? i dunno, whatever works for you.
im sorry your not feeling so good though
lots of love
ninny
x
Your just having a moment... You seem to have a lot of these, but maybe it\'s just you realizing that things need to change. I think it\'s time to start doing something about it. I want you to be happy, or at least on the road to achieving that at somepoint. It\'s not fair what you put yourself through.....
Things will get better just prioritise whats important to you.
Being a help to other people is the exact oposite to just existing as you are making a big difference to peoples lives and making them happier so that isnt existing at all thats living you just need to know that yourself!
keep your head up girl....it\'l get better..jenny