omg whats wrong with me...well dont anybody tell me...cuz i know that it's everything!!!!i get so mad at myself for the dumbest things...i felt like getting an iced coffee today b4 class...so i went to the starbucks on campus...and waited in a long ass line of caffeine deprived college students....only to pay $3.15 for a iced black coffee that they didnt even fill up all the way! im not a cheapskate...i just didnt need the coffee...i dont need anything..i dont deserve it....im just in this sort of mood today.....and my mind automatically is jumping to punishing myself foodwise because of this adventure in starbucks.....i will eat less calories tonight than i did yesterday....i know i should eat at least the same.....well i know i need to eat about 3 or 4 times my intake to be normal....but my ED thinks being normal is over rated....does doing something other than what is considered normal make u abnormal or special? what do u guys think?
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well Ed thinks it makes us special really it just makes us differant! well what is normal anyway? no1 is particularly normal every1 is individual and has there own abnormal things that they do! I hope tht the coffee was nice! it was good you got it! it\'s ok to get things u feel like u did deserve it!
well firstly...everything is NOT wrong with yuu.
normal..yeah it is over rated..and it sucks...ut when being \'not-normal\' makes yuu unhappy and unhealthy [*coughcough* ed] then its not worth it... =/
You know this is the ED talking, you know its ways. Just tell yourself the truth--that this isn\'t normal, that your beautiful, and that you can do whatever you damn well want with your intake! Stick it to the ED, girl!
Can you kick yourself in the ass a little harder? Geez Missy. If someone were to ask your friends what they thought of you they would come up with all nice things. They wouldn\'t say the negative things that we like to tell ourselves. Focusing on the positive is so much harder. I\'ll do it for you: \"Missy is a loving, caring, intelligent, and genuine person\" There. Put that in your coffee. Ha! XOXOXO
you dont have EVERYTHING wrong with you as you put it - thats just your e.d talking and trying to knock you down a rung or 12 as usual so block it out.Chin up and tommorow is a new day to begin again. In saying that though i remember when i was suffering from annorexia i would have done exactly the same thing. Even if i just had the black coffee like yourself, it still would have been \'wrong\' and i would have had to compensate and punish myself later on to make up for the fact.
you have so much going for you though -, your really smart, witting, caring and your e.d is trying to deprvie you of living your fullest life. When your on here, writing about all the funny stuff about your e.d - thats when your breaking through and normallity and the real you can emerge from the \'abnormal\' (your word) - see what im trying to get at.
its the disease missy!
its stifling your ability to be yourself
xxxx
oh my friend please don\'t be so hard on yourself. this all takes time so please take baby steps one minute at a time. you are beautiful and worthy of better and you sur ethe hell deserve better. and yes you are special but in a possitive way. you are unique, the only one like you you are the only you. i have faith in you. you can beat this i know you can. i am here for you.
There is NOTHING WRONG with you! Really Missy, it is not about what is wrong or right, after all, in my opinion, neither really exist. It is all a matter of perspective. ED will call upon situations that in turn will make you feel like you need to punish. They are excuses to continue the way that you are going. Fueling the cycle. I mean, it was coffee, for Pete\'s Sake! Attempting over and over again to fit into a specific category, be it normal, or anorexic, or sick, or empowered, etc, is yet another way to set ourselves up to fail. Our gauges are already so distorted that in order to become the ideal person we think we SHOULD be as oppose to embracing who we ARE. But we are all very much aware of our distortions. I think the point I\'m attempting to make is to not worry so much about our \"classifications\" or labels, or how we fit in, but to actually love and nurture the things that make us different...that make us special...I hope this makes sense. You\'re worth is so much more than a circumstance around a cup of coffee at Starbucks..And by no means am I trying to devalue your experience. I am also reading the words I am writing for myself. It is all too often how I will allow certain things or circumstances or incidents define the tone of my day and how I feel about myself. Sometimes all it does take is that tiny second in a day to change my entire week. Holy Cow! This has to stop for me! I, not ED, I, will create my moments...in turn, perhaps I will be able to create my days...Love you Girl! xoxoxoxoxox
Don\'t even think about eating less. You are worth it so eat MORE!!!
ED always rules, does it not? I\'m probably the last person to answer this.
That\'s kinda the opposite of me. Sometimes I don\'t feel like I\'m worthy to eat healthy stuff. I punish myself by eating junk. Interesting how different EDs work