the silence between my father and i is deafining...if that makes any sense...the tension between us is like a big pink elephant in the middle of the room that nobody wants to talk about...and this pink elephant is doing pirouttes and pliés while screaming zippiddy do da! somebody fucking looking at it or mention it! or something!!!! everyone ignoring that fact that my father is ignoring me is almost giving me as bad of a feeling as my father ignoring me is........work today was sooo busy...i didnt get to sit once in over 6 hrs....and the other person that was supposed to be there with me and the boss called in....so she ended up calling in this little 15 yr old boy that she just hired like a week ago...and he kind of just gets in the way...my boss was cooking and i was running around trying to do everything else...i was taking orders and filling them...and then having to fill the orders that joey took cuz he cant work the custard machine...or he doesnt know how to make something...or he cant calculate the change in his head...and he doesnt have any of the prices memorized so he takes forever at the register....ahhhhhhhh....so after everything was said and done, my boss gave joey and i $10 a piece as a bonus today for working non stop for the whole shift...and for doing it well....i got home...and i was so physically drained...no food/running around for over 6 hrs...not a good combo....so i went up to my bed and layed there for about 2 hrs...i couldnt sleep so i just layed there not moving...with the tv on...until i got the energy to go take a showeri called erica...shes still hanging in there and completing her meals...but shes having a rough time not performing her eating rituals...they are kind of strict on that type of stuff in treatment centers...i remember when i was in treatment, they would call u on things like picking things apart, cutting things too small, adding too many spices, and mixing foods that werent meant to be mixed....she says everyone there is nice...but most of them are teenagers...so she isnt really feeling like a kindred spirit...but her roommate is 40 something...so erica is by no means the oldest one there....she isnt sure when she will be released and if she is going to choose to attend partial after her release or just go home...but she wanted me to thank all of u that are thinking of her for keeping her in ur thoughts and prayers!
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I remember one of my best friends in treatment was 53 years old. I lovvvveeeed her. And yes, I hated being called on behaviours. \"Lily, put your sandwich back together. Lily, stop using so much mustard. Lily, stop cutting your food apart. Lily, eat your pizza with your hands.\" BAH.
omg, that sounds exhausting at work - you must be just mentally and phsyically pooped with that and that big pink elephant thing going on.
wow -in paitent sounds really full on. ive never been but i had no idea how strict it was with the things liking mixing combinations and spices and portion sizes etc = wow. im shocked. although i suppose if your in such a way that you need inpaitent then things like that make a difference.
hope your nice and rested and tell erica she\'s still in our thoughts/prayers
lots of lvoe
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I havn\'t had an actual conversation with my father in over 4 years so I know how ya feel. My father has been ignoring me since I was 16 though. I guess you get use to it after a while. When I was a child I was always daddys little girl. But as soon as trouble hit at age 14 it all stoped. The only reason he still paid attention till 16 is cause I played ball for that long. Once I quit softball ended so did our relationship. It\'s just something that if you really want that you really have to work for ya know.
wow..hun yuu a suchh a hard worker it amazing..seriously...i\'m srry that yuur dad is such a dick about dealing with yuur ed...its even worse that ppl wont say anything to him about...i reallyreally hope that he changes or sum ppl start to!
So sorry you\'re dad is still ignoring you. I hate that he has to be so immature about this. Maybe one day he will realize what he\'s missing out on. Glad Erica is doing well .Hugs!
Sorry you\'re stressed. Thanks for filling us in on Erica. I get my cell phone at 3:15 and I\'ll try to call her then. There is one girl here who butters her toast exactly two hundred times. Then she cuts the crust off and only eats the crust. I\'m thinking \"isn\'t there medication for that?\" but I\'m just as sick as she is, really. XOXOXO