ive been calling/talking to erica who is currently in treatment....she wants me to inform u all that she is gaining weight like a champ (10.4 lbs in 3 days)....she says that she looks like the michelin man...which i am sure is a huge exaggeration on EDs part....im sure that alot of that weight is the food that her body isnt excreting through going to the bathroom (probably since her body isnt used to having to do so without laxatives)...but alas, she is hanging in there! please keep her in ur thoughts!! in a way, i am jealous that erica doesnt get a choice whether or not to eat....she has to eat...whereas i get the choice.....and i choose not to......i kind of wish the power was out of my hands like it was in treatment...but i dont wanna go back to treatment....but the feeling of not having the control was kind of nice.....she gets to eat 6 times a day.....she gets breakfast, lunch, dinner (which are pretty much non existant for me.....) and snacks! 3 of them......awww...how nice that must be....how guilty i would feel....how scandalous!my father is still only talking to me when he has something negative to say...u know what? fuck it! fuck him! im never gonna be good enough for him....and i just cannot waste my time trying to be...sad i know...but this is my realitynot much else to report....still thinking about how i have to tell james about my minor affliction....dont know when ill be able to conjure up the courage
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I\'m glad you are not living life just to please your dad. If your like me you\'ll throw in a \"your negativity won\'t make me well\" type things. Hope things are looking up for ya!
Thanks for the update!!! I\'m glad she\'s working on it and getting help.
I\'m sorry to hear about your dad though; I despise parental criticism. Don\'t let his comments get to you though! You are a beautiful and strong young woman, and so motivated. Im proud of you. /hugs
You can\'t please everyone...no matter how much we believe we can. *Sigh* I know it. Giving someone else the control would be kind of nice, and scary at the same time. We want it but we don\'t. ED sucks, there\'s no way around that. But we listen to it, let it consume us. Keep trying though, that\'s all we can do sometimes.
honey... u are totally amazing...a tower of strength to others all the time... iknow erica will appreciate ut strength for the rest of her life... please give her my love when u talk to her..i miss her so... and tell her she is beautiful from me... ur wonderful... keep going, xx
oh thanks for the update. please pass on to her that we are all thinking and praying for her.
and please try and remember that e.d\'s are a bitch (as you know) and unfortunatly thats all your dad can see at the moment.He\'s overlooking all your wonderfull attributes because all he can see is the e.d and the thing is he can\'t seperate the two which is a shame. it must be terribly frustrating for you. but its not your fault you have an eating disorder. untill he understands that things are going to be strained.
lots of love
ninny
i\'m gald erica is dong well...
&&i cant imagen how hard that must bee...to see someone else get \'better\' has yuu struggle but yuu are still doing amazing..no liee...yuu hold on and are tryying...and trying is half way there..i know yuu can beat this babe!
Thanks for the update sweetie! How cruel of parents to be so negative, your dad sounds like how my mom used to be. Well I think you are fantabulous!!
Thanks for the update on erica. I was worried about her, but I am relieved to hear she is doing better. As for you, you seem to have the same relationship with your father as I do with my mother. Good for you for not listening to him. I recently had to cut off all contact from my mother which was hard for me. If you ever want to talk, do hesitate to write!
Dannielle