i am so god damned tired all of the time....both mentally and physically...but it is the physical fatigue that is really getting me down at the moment....i will NEVER admit that i have no energy to anyone except for here on DS....if i said that to my parents or anyone here, they would just tell me to eat more....and i know that that is what my body is telling me to do...but u all know how hard it is to do that one little thing....enter the mental fatigue....i feel as though i am on a bad amusement park ride...one that makes me sick...and i feel as though i am never gonna get off of it.......when i come home from 6 hrs at work...i am spent...i need to lie down for 1.5 hrs b4 i can muster up enough energy to take a shower.....at work, i appear to have energy....but that is all for show...i use any and all of the energy that i might have left in order to do my job 
luckily, my boss let me leave early today so that i could make it to rite aid to fill a prescription b4 they closed......lucky for me that both of my sister's boyfriends parents work in pharmacies 
....the mom works at one that is close to me, and the dad works in the other that is close to me......needless to say, they both know that i am on anti depressants....hooray for me! and they have no problem just chatting me up while im waiting for my pills....grrr...kind of embarassing....but i just play it off like it doesnt bother me....o well, their own daughter is "bi polar" (all of us, including my sister's bf dont think she really is...it's just an excuse to y things go wrong in her life) and is on antidepressants as well
my poor little man is sick....james has the flu....but i think we are gonna see each other saturday!!!! hopefully he'll be better by then...well hopefully he'll be fine by tomorrow...we were trying to decide on what to do saturday b4 i had to go to work...and he comes up with "we could go out to dinner"...and my heart nearly leaped out of my chest...i almost said "im not hungry"....but then i remembered that i can't use this reflexive response to that suggestion until saturday...cuz to tell him that i wont be hungry on saturday is kind of jumping the gun since it's only monday......i think he knows about my ED...but then i wonder if maybe he doesn't....maybe he does but going out to eat is such a normal date whereas dating someone with an ED isn't a normal situation...so he has never had to figure that into the equation b4.....i don't know...i'm so lost
Replies
life is hard.and yuu have every rite to be tired hun.but somedays just say screw it and act tired and be like fuck yuu all.i need a day off once and awhile.
maybee talking to james about yuur ed would be good.yuu dont even have to talk about it.just be like \'i have an ed.its a hard thing to deal wit sometimes and i\'m srry.\'and leave it at that.i really do thinkk he\'ll be fine wit it.
Do you want him to know about your ED? You keep saying, I think he knows, but you never said if you want him to or not. Just curious.... I\'m not attacking.....
So what are you going to do to solve the energy problem? I carry a bag of high fibre low fat snack bag around with me. It\'s no more than 200 calories, and I snack on that all day long. I\'m sure you know what your body needs, so try to carry something around and eat little bits of it, and you won\'t feel as guilty because you are just eating small healthy bits, but giving you energy at the same time! Just an idea.... I am really finding it helps. I no longer nap, and I haven\'t gained any weight, so i\'m doing something healthy in my eyes.
Well, I love ya girl, so keep going strong ok? I hope james gets better! I had a bad flu for about a week a couple of months ago, it was so strange. I never get sick, but for some reason, neil and I got it bad. Anyways, cherrio.
ED wil stripe every ounce of energy out of a perso i know it does me. just being home a week i have lost 6 pounds and already see the energy widdling away. i am wooried about you my friend. please take care cause i care about you.
oh boy i understand the exhaustion, both mental and physical...its so hard to deal with and i comepletely get why u cant show it to anyone because as u said they will most probably throw in ur face that u should eat more.
i havent been in a real relationship in awhile but i do remember the stress of dealing with ed as well as the bf, its a hard decision trying to fig out wen to tell, and how to prevent ed from getting in the way...i hope u can fig out something to do on saturday that u are more comfortable with.
I remember having a run in with my father, and he was pressuring me to eat. I told him that I had eaten, and when he asked when, I had blurted out, \"On Monday\" .......It was Saturday!! I feel you Girl. Maybe you can suggest going to the movies. This way, you all can share a popcorn, and it will be in the dark, so you may feel a lot less pressure, whether you deide to eat some popcorn or not. I hope both you and James get to feeling better. Would you consider drinking an emergen-c? They are packed with vitamins and minerals, and are very good for giving you some more energy. I\'m not suggesting this to take the place of eating, but maybe it will help you gain more energy both metally and physically so you can work on seeing a bit clearer and gain some strenght to move towards your recovery. I know when I am exhausted, it is much easier to slip back into bad habits. Love you, Lady...xoxoxoxox
james could be someone to use as \"secret support\" (as my therapist calls it). he\'s asked you out to dinner (so sweet) and you can use this opportunity to battle Ed (if you want to, it\'s worth a shot in my little bitty humble opinion!). james doesn\'t have to know you have an ED unless you want him to. but that doesn\'t mean he can\'t support you anyways. i hope you go out and have a kick ass time. you deserve it. and remember, it doesn\'t have to be perfect. perfect usually isn\'t all that fun anyways.
I\'ll go to a hospital if you do...... wouldn\'t that be fun, we would be holy terrors ha-ha! I\'m starting to know exactly what you mean by being exhausted! It is so not fun. Hang in there.
my husband justn found wouwtw about mine. wandmweve been togethe almoswtwmtwpn yeras! its a thiwnwg where they dont really have a clue theyre guys. but we thwink wthey know because of our own guilt of having it. my huswbwand was dumbfoundewed wwwwwwhen i told him, but hes my support niw and im less likely to \"do myw thiwngw\"warouwnd wwwwwhwim.wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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