ALRIGHT....this is what im gonna say to those individuals (ok individual) who dont wanna listen to me blubber about my problems any more...because apparently they are too self absorbed for some people's likings......my advice to u is...if u dont wanna hear what i have to say then DONT READ MY FUCKING JOURNAL! stay the fuck off my page! and then we wont have that problem now will we? alright with that said...i am glad that the rest of u are sympathetic to my struggles because u too know what im going through since u r struggling as well...i love u guys, and i wish nothing but the best for ui went to the dr's today b4 college....i had an appt...god when dont i have a dr's appt? grrr....he wants me to get MORE blood work done in a few weeks...he loves getting me stuck with needles...evil man...my white blood count is down, as is my protein (only slightly)..my cholesterol is extremely low, but my calcium is fine (thank u os -cal!).......my potassium is fine as well as my other electrolytes, but im slightly dehydrated....o well....he wants me to go to the gyno...cuz iver never been there b4 and i havent had a period in over 2 yrs......the past 2 drs appts ive had...he has told me to go to the gyno and given me the number to make the appt...i didnt do it either time...on purpose......cuz i dont wanna go and have some lady all up in my goodies.......well today, he called and made an appt for me .....grrrr...its in the beginning of oct...so i have a month and a half to worry and obsess about it!!!! ugh..........well when i went to the dr today, i wore my self made weight belt under my hoodie...then they weighed me....then we went to the room, and the nurse took my blood pressure.....then she left..i stripped off the belt and threw it in my purse...jsut in time to....right hten the nurse came back in and said that the dr wanted me weighed again this time with no hoodie or shoes.....so we did....and lo and behold...id lost 10 lbs in 5 minutes........am i magic or what? whoops.........well he wasnt too happy...especially when i told him that i had basically fired my ED dr in rochester.......i told him its too far to drive just to be told what i already know....eat more to gain/sustain ur weight.......im eating disordered not stupid
Replies
Girl your gonna have to do something before someone does it for ya. Maybe I should threaten you and tell you that I\'m not going to come visit you if you\'re not healthy.....love ya girl.
10lbs?yuu are a mircal worker! :D
if yuur protien is down thinkk about it this way..eat sumthing lowfat&in cals likke grilled chicken...cals and protien...and drinkk gatorad...it has small amount of cals and healthy cals...
I used to do the same things you do. I would put rolls of quarters in my pockets. You have so much to give so don\'t let ED take it away from you. I know you do want to get healthy. I\'m here for you and don\'t stop writing what you want to. Love ya!!!
i did the weight thing and the drinking water thing b4 like loads of it... not good... made me ill... i almost drowned... its sooooooooooo not worth it and our disordered thinking makes us believe that we dont look skinnier... when we loose lbs its very clear fort he drs to see as we look even more skinny.... ur far less than me and taller and they can notie on me so they must notice on you... it sucks i know!!!! Im like get the hell off me, i dont wanna be weighed... leave it! Keep your chin up girl... im thinking of you and like you said to me... you say what the hell you like on here this is ur space and ur journal ... its all about you on here and i for one will always read it as i wanna know how ur going... love you , xxx
amen to being eating disordered but NOT STUPID!! ha!
i hope that chick leaves you alone, i hope you\'re not too upset by her ignorant, mean comments.
don\'t freak about the gyno, it\'s really not that bad. it only takes a few seconds and your \"goodies\" aren\'t the first one the doctors seen, or the last. i promise, it\'s made into a bigger deal than it is.
what\'s your doctor planning on doing? anything? LOVE YOU!
I\'m not trying to attack you, you know I never would, but all the past journals i\'ve read it sounds like you are just putting things off. I tried to think of my new sober experience as a new adventure. I\'ve found out so many things about myself, and things I never knew I liked because i\'ve quit the drugs and booze. I\'m bad with my eating habits, but i\'ve learnt to at least try new things, and to take one day at a time. I know you know all this, but sometimes you just need to read these things to say in your head, yes I am hiding, it\'s time to kick some ASS.
I haven\'t cut my hair in 8 years! I decided I was tired of hiding behind this hair, and that I need to try new things in my life instead of getting stuck in a rut. OMG. I will have to send you a picture because it looks fantastic!
I love you a bunch, and I just don\'t want to see you in a hospital because there are so many different routes you can choose before going to that one. Suck it up, and do things for yourself! It\'s time to get healthy (with everything). :)
I totally feel you on the gyno thing... I\'ve never been and I avoid the topic at all costs. My doctor hasn\'t tried to send me yet, suprisingly. I\'m still waiting for Aunt Flo to come back to town. But I\'m really hoping she comes soon because that\'s how they\'re determining what weight I should be at. I\'ve never wanted my period back so badly. haha
But hun, please take care of yourself. You\'ve been down this road before, so you know how it is. I\'d really love to see you turn around now before the shit really hits the fan... because eventually it always does, and it\'s never pretty. I\'m telling you, from someone who has been in the same exact place as you not very long ago, that it is possible to really change, even if you\'ve failed in the past. It\'s definitely not easy... but it\'s SO worth it to try. I can\'t believe how much better my life is now than it was back in April... even if I am \"fat\".
all i can say is dear i understand. right out of treatment and i am already struggling to eat. i know how much it sucks but sweetheart please try. you are to special to waste away. i care about you and am very worried. please talk to me, i am here for you.
I hate that you are struggling through these MD appointments..that must be hard. You really should go to the gyno though..so much can go wrong in that dept that it\'s good to be checked out regularly. Anyway...hope you have a good weekend. Hugs!