ok u know how our bodies are super smart? like when we deprive ourselves of food, it shuts off hunger signals, and starts shutting down systems that are necessary to life (reproductive), also we yawn when our brain needs more oxygen, our body parts fall asleep to remind us that there is no blood flowing there and that we need to move...we have reflexes to save ourselves from major harm...we have adrenaline to help us flee scary situations......well this isnt enough for me...oh no my friends, i want more!...i want1) for our bodies to be calorie sensitive...therefore....1 piece of chocolate would fill us up more than 5 cups of lettuce...cuz it has more calories!...this would make having an ED more difficult!2) i want for our bodies to shut off hunger signals when we have excess weight...people with excess weight dont need more food...they have fat stored to be used as energy...so their bodies should use that first b4 getting more put into it....now im sure that the world would still have fat people...but that is because they jsut love to eat and eat even after they are full up..or eat out of boredom when they arent hungry...idk...these are just ideas that run through my head all of the timewell this one boy that i knew from 3rd grade...i found him on myspace and he remembers me! we have been talking for awhile now! im so excited that he remembered me =)....i told him how i used to have a crush on him...lol i know i know i started liking boys that way in 2nd grade..i started early!...he said something sweet to me on the phone last night...i was joking about how awful i looked in 3rd grade..i was like "i was so fat, had bad clothes, crooked teeth, and bad hair"...and he said "o come on now! we all looked bad! and i dont like u talking bad about urself".......idk...this made me feel good to have someone tell me that i didnt deserve to be berated by myself...geez i guess i am more own worst enemy/critictoday at work, my boss ran to the store...and when she came back, she had bought a donut for herself, and one for my co worker patrick...she said "i didnt get u one missy, cuz i didnt think ud eat it...but if u want, u can have some of mine"......well pffffffftttttt....people are noticing...i keep trying to think of excuses i could use...maybe i could say im diabetic? grew up in a health conscience household? ...ive already pulled the vegetarian bit so that they will stop offering my burgers and hot dogs......grrr i wish i were normal!
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I\'ve tried all those tricks too.. Lactose intolerant, sensitive teeth, hyperglycemic, everything except fasting during Ramadan. (Couldn\'t pass for Muslim) I\'m just tired of playing the game, like you said my ball got run over by a car. I don\'t wish to be normal. I just want to be an anorexic who can make peace with it because obviously that\'s the best case scenario for me. I\'d like to try normal for a day just to see what it feels like though, ha! XOXOXOXO
My Mom gave me the idea of saying i\'m diabetic... Whatever... Why are people so concered with what OTHER people eat.... Stupid...
:( sorry just skimming through some diffrent members journal entries...I\'ve made myself eat normal...maintain a healthy weight..stop thinking about food but I\'ve read a couple posts like this...comments on fat and normal people kind of like their some other world beings...now I feel like a complete and utter cow..and people will be able to tell cause I\'m not sexy skinny I\'m \"normal\" bleck :(
someone did that to me the other day.... she had some cookies and was offering them around agroup of us... she just by passed me... i gave her a look and she said well its not like ud eat it... if i thought you would you could have the whole packet... i was like grrrrrrrrrr! What is normal anyway? Seriously tho... it sometimes a goodthing that people around you notice... there is no hiding this ED once you are dropping like you are... it just gets harder and harder to hide.. but somewhere deep down... tho you or i dont think it... we do want people to notice us emaciating away... we feel relived that someone cares enough to notice, angry that they wont leave us to it and perhaps a little proud that we lost more weight...I forgot what it is to be normal! U will get there missy... much love to you , x
cal. senseitive would bee nice,i agree.but we\'re not so yuu got ttry and cee that maybeee 5 cups of lettuce isnt gunna hurt yuu.
its nice that yuu got to talk to the boy online.hes sounds like a sweetheart.and he\'s rite.dont talk aboutt yur self likke that casue yuu desever it.
lol thatd be good!!! yer i wish we could say to our bodies ill be this weight and itl go okay!! he he. Who cares if they do notice you have to learn to ignore comments and not take them to heart. I hate people offering me food its so annoying hope ur good x
in any senario people will judge you. if your fat and you eat, people tell you not to eat. if your skinny people tell you to eat. there is NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL. people need to learn to accept you for who you are. even if you don\'t want the doughnut, it\'s still proper to ask. it\'s the right thing to do. you shouldn\'t have to make excuses as to why you don\'t eat. your personal bussiness should be of no concern to thoes whom it does not effect. my concern is of your happiness and your health. keeping thoes two things in mind, work towards a goal. only you can set the proper goals for yourself. one other thought- love yourself. you are only given one life and one body, make the most of what has been given you. you seem to have quite a few people here to help you on the path to where You want to be, what ever that may be. for each person it is different, just be happy with what ever you do.
It must be hard to constantly make excuses about food. I can\'t imagine how hard. I used to make excuses to hide my bingeing or cancel plans with people to stay home and binge, so I guess I know a little of that issue. Those are good thoughts about the body...I wish I wouldn\'t really get hungry as much till I lost the weight. Hope you have a good day!