i just got home from the movies with charlie...we saw the simpsons movie..it was funny...u know what else was funny? charlie didnt make any sort of move on me in the theater lol...too nervous? lol i love when guys are worried about this stuff....sitting there wondering if they can be smooth and put their arm around u....haha.......well currently i have guys coming out my ears...i seriously am not hurting for male attention....the thing that sucks though is the guy i really want cannot give me the time of day because he is so caught up in his job.....i wonder if we did get together if he would still love his job more........i fucked up again today food wise...went 21 hrs without eating...shit shit shit....still only eating at night....i get into this mind set of putting off the eating...cuz i worry that if i eat in the morning that i might get hungry later...and give in and eat more...and then later get hungry again...and EAT AGAIN! and i dont think my ED would like this lol....u know eating 3 times a day?!?!?!? who does that? lol.....but at the same time i know that i wouldnt get hungry later in the day....cuz of my ED...i dont get hungry,,,,but i use this reasoning as an excuse to put off my eating.......o yes....and another glamorization of eating disorders ....the song rockstar by nickelback the line "and we'll all stay skinny cuz we just wont eat"...yes children! be like ur idols! dont eat and be thin like them!! thats what the famous people do!
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I hear you, I can\'t stand the way EDs are portreyed in the media either. I got so pissed off one time when I read about Kelly Clarkson (who I used to like) who apparently \"had\" and eating disorder. Here\'s what she said,One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed, she revealed. I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it. Yeah ok, I\'m gonna snap right out of mine now... there ok I\'m all better now. I bet she still pukes in secret. It\'s not something you can just will away, and if you can then you weren\'t really sick in the first place. When\'s the public gonna catch on that it is a disease and there isn\'t anything glamorous about it? Keep continuing to ward of ED, I know your trying hard.
Yeah, uh... I dunno what happened there trying to post that last comment to you. Something went quirky, maybe cause I copied and pasted her quote. ??? Oh well, I think you know what I was trying to say anyhow.
That\'s what I\'ve always done. Starve. My first day here on DS someone suggested that I start eating in the morning to kick in my appetite. Guess what? Appetite kicked in and I eat all the time. It sounds like ED is the guy you want right now, and he\'s making moves all over you! Please don\'t starve. Last time I did I couldn\'t stop and I left this site because of ED. He owned me again.
Oh and Joey downloaded that song from Itunes. I deleted it, and resynced his ipod. He said \"but I paid you a dollar\". I said \"well you didn\'t have me OK the song, so you just lost your dollar\" XOXOXO
OMG! I hate that song Rockstar. Everytime I hear it I think are they trying to make people develop ED\'s. What kinda message is that? I mentioned this to my husband and he said you have to be stupid to take that line literally. That pissed me off, because there are probably maky girls out there who do take it literally and think if I don\'t eat then I\'ll lose weight and get skinny. Whenever I hear the some it makes me wanna eat less. I am so glad you mentioned this song because I\'ve been thinking about saying something about it in my journal.
About the eating, I\'m the same way. I only want to eat at night because I also think that if I eat during the day I\'ll end up eating too much because my body is used to eating at the same time everyday that even if I eat early and am not hungry later on, I stil will end up eating at the time I normally do.
So I can\'t give you the time of day huh? Well as a matter of fact it is 2:42 Central time on Monday. There now you got the time of day, LOL j/k!!!! Missy you know I like you and would do anything to be with you, but right now you are in NY and I am in FL. Yes I am only thinking about work because work is all I have right now. I still think about you everyday and wonder how you are doing, but I honestly am afraid to get close to you only to get hurt again by another woman. It will take sometime but I am positive you and I will be together.
About your entry from yesterday as well as today. I know what you mean about ritualised eating and it screwing with your life. I do eat 3 a day but try and pushe tham as late as possible- tho if too late I won\'t eat cos then ill be eating really soon after at next meal... Part of my coping is thinking whats the worst that\'l happen if I eat now rather that waiting the extra hour? Well I might get hungry before my next meal- and well being hungry won\'t kill me for an extra hour so Im unlikely to eat agin before Im due and even if I did well, what the hey I probably could use the few extra calories! But on another note- you are too you to be letting this shit screw up your social life- I don\'t think I ever had much of one at your age- partly why I started to starve myself- you should try and have fun and everything while you are young (talkin like im a granny :))but eat (drink and be merry). At the end of my life I hope to be able to say I lived it to the full and didn\'t let the ED get in the way. At the moment Im so chained by it I can\'t. We need to break free of it!
I didn\'t really like the simpsons movie...It just seemed like the same thing but longer. It was hoping for some new exciting action, there were a lot of cool things in the movie in the background that pertained to previous episodes which was cool.
I\'m sorry you are hurting.... I wish you would eat just a little more because I don\'t want you to go back to treatment, or do you need that? I just think you need some love in your life. You need some fullness of love! HA. I choose stupid ways of saying things, but in my dorky corny way I mean well. I think you should get out there and go on some dates with the expectation of just making a new friend or maybe a possible partner, ya know? You need to step out of the shell because yeah shit happens and shit gets fucked up, but how are you to know love when you won\'t even let your experience it? I hope this makes sense i\'m really rambling on now lol.... Love ya.
ok, so i won\'t mention boost/ensure ever again (i feel the same way about them too!). so what are you gonna do about your eating? are you just gonna stand by and watch as your life and health go down the drain? i\'m not scolding you, i\'m really curious. you seem to be enjoying life right now, and that\'s wonderful. but you know where not eating will land you, and you have to remember that and FIGHT BACK against ED. nobody else is gonna do it for you. and you have the chance right now to keep it from getting worse, to keep it from getting to that point of no return. you\'re in my thoughts and prayers girl, and i\'m here for you.