well i went to the fair today finally! charlie couldnt go cuz work kept him til late...so i ended up calling my sisters bf to see if he would accompany me...i ended up with his sister cuz she asked me if she could go wiht me.....blah....i said sure! even though i dont like her much...shes 25...and she says shes bi polar....which no one not even her brother thinks she is...well recently she has stated that she is tri polar...yes people! TRI......her third stage being anger....lol wow....well we went on a ride there...it was kewl...but i always get a little scared getting onto a ride with someone overweight....cuz i didnt think she would fit....luckily she just made it...the bar was like up her ass....but hey i fit wihtout touching the bar...so didnt bother me anymy dad does things to bother me on purpose....he knows i like to go online at night...so what does he do? he goes on when i normally do...and spends hours on the computer......asshole!ok so i had a flash from the past today at work...my 5th grade teacher came...and i was like ur mr powell right? and he smiled and was like yes....i was like u were my teacher in 5 th grade but u probably dont remember me cuz that was like 10 yrs ago.....and he was like i think i remember u, u were much bigger then werent u?...and then he motions with his arms when he says bigger then to show that he meant fatter......and little skinny minny me admits to him that yes i was that chubby girl he remembers..................then he left (o yea, he is retired now...way to make me feel old lol....well im only 20).........its comments like the one he made about me being remembered as chubby that keeps me wanting to stay thin!!! thin is in!!! chubby is shameful in my eyes***UPDATE**** missy fucked up AGAIN!!! i overslept and was late to work 30 min....i rushed to work and said to my boss OMG IM A BAD BAD BAD EMPLOYEE!!! she didnt seem too mad....but if i were her i would have fired my ass on the spot....no one should be allowed to be late...and i definitely dont deserve forgiveness...i screwed up...i should get punished....but im glad that i still have my job....but i punished myself through my ED.......grrr...y do i do this? y do i automatically think that messing up means that i need to eat less?!?!?!?!?!?and Erica this is for u.......i have MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR issues wiht liquid calories...i think they are the devil...i would rather eat my calories then drink them....when i was in treatment and on a 6,000 calorie a day meal plan, i did it all in food....cuz i couldnt stand the thought of drinking juice or ensure........i get the heebie jeebies thinking about it
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Your Dad is probably thinking, she made us suffer threw her mess, i\'ll make her suffer threw the things she enjoys because she took away the joys I had. He\'s just being a baby.. Just erase that out of your memory.....
I can\'t remember the last time I went to a fair... I always would freak out because of all the people. I felt so overwhelmed. I would see all the fat people eating that crap food, and I just get sick, and I don\'t enjoy myself. I would love to go and try it again though! I think I might when one comes which is in a couple of weeks I think.
I totally feel the same way regarding your late issue. I probably can\'t give any helpful support there because I would have done exactly what you did.
Liquid calories... I remember you having to drink those shakes for a while there? Wasn\'t that you? It was a few months ago I think.
Anyways, do you work tomorrow? I do. Wait, I work everyday lol.. One more month of two jobs! I think Neil and I are going to get that place we really want as well. I\'m excited, but i\'m not letting myself get to excited incase it doesn\'t happen.
I was also chubby growing up. I was made fun of a lot. I love it when I hear, wow, you look so thin when I do see someone that has seen me in my bigger years. I\'ve never really lived anywhere long enough to gain a friend. I don\'t really have any real friends but Neil. I can\'t keep them. Anyways, I hope your bad smiley goes to a better one soon. I\'m here if you need to vent out.
That\'s funny, but why is the fair a magnet for obesity. Last time I saw a lady who could barely walk holding a hot dog in one hand and an ice cream in the other. I was so full of judgment, like \"how could they let themselves go like that?\" Now I have a new understanding, as I\'ve realized how food obsession is so powerful for overeaters.
I\'m the opposite with the liquid calories. I\'d rather drink a case of ensure than eat a sandwich. Like ripping off a bandaid. Quick and easy and get it over with. I think the devil is the one who made that shit so expensive!
well dear i dont think yuu need to worry about work.being late once and awhile is NOTT a bad thing.its okay.and yuu thinking that yuu need to be punished is something that yuu need to get outta the habbit of.
and liquid cals.yesss,i know...i wont drinkk juice unless its sweeted wit splenda,which my parents hate.they thinkk i\'m crazy.
&&about yuur dad.try to see that hes the one that yuu should feel sorry for casue he seems to not be able ti unstand anything.but i agree.he sounds like hes being a real asshole.=p
I don\'t do liquid calories either. If I\'m going to have to consume calories, I figure I might as well just eat something.
That teacher is a complete jack ass. He should be ashamed of himself for even saying that. I could totally see how that comment will hinder your recovery.
i hate comments like that, why do ppl think that its ok to remind us wat we used to look like? i seriously think that they believe its a compliment like \"oh u used to be chubby, look at u now!\"...i hate that.
and hun being late for work doesnt make u a bad person worthy of punishment!