i slept in til 1:30 pm today....love that!....and then i read for 1 and 1/2 hours...i love reading...such a grand escape...i then took a shower and got on with life....when my dad came home from work he didnt say hi to me or ne thing....but when my sister came home from work, my dad made a point to greet her.....ok guess im not worth saying hello to and acknowledging.....so i just went to work without sayin goodbye to anyone......well tomorrow is my dr appt that i had to reschedule cuz i missed it the other day....i wont miss this one....but i dont wanna go...im gonna get weighed....but i feel a little less nervous knowing that i have a plan in place.....i am waterloading, and wearing my heaviest clothes/sneakers....and i am also gonna wear this 8 lb belt around my waist that i constructed out of ankle weights......terrible i know....but i dont feel like getting yelled at for any weight loss....and rather than gain weight for real b4 tomorrow (cuz i dont htink that that is physically possible)....i must resort to plan b....which is tricking the dr/scale
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Your Dad cares, but he\'s being a immature adult. He\'s the adult, not you. He is your Father, not you to care for him (in a maturnal way). And like I said before, he doesn\'t understand, and reading that makes me want to punch him in the face because he\'s ruining a bit of your spirit each day. I hope you take some matter into your own hands and either talk to him about it, or try to cope with it somehow. You aren\'t a shitty person. Actually, you are a very intellgent 20 year old with a bright future. You aren\'t a fake woman, you are a real woman.
As for the doctor... I know it\'s probably good that you get weighted, but if it gives you that much anxeity, why do you do it? Do you always have to go to the doctor? Are you on watch right now? I have not been diagnosed, and i\'m dealthy afraid of going to because I would kick and scream if I had to go and do what you do. It\'s very brave of you, but I totally understand why you are going to do what you are going to do. Instead of yelling at you, why dosen\'t your family help you gain a healthy pound that week or something. It brings tears to my eyes that you are going to have to strap weights on yourself because you are afraid of your family\'s rejection. I\'m so sorry.... But remember, you are worth loving, and worth listening to. It\'s so hard when family doesn\'t understand, but maybe you can start thinking of ways to help them along. Read more into your ED, and find ways to suggest things with your family to do to help you. Tell them you get scared when you go to get weighted. Ask them to help you with eating a little more the next week instead of frowning upon you. I don\'t know... I just think it sucks that you are trying to get better, but your Father seems to just see past that.
Well, I think you want to get better, but you are just afraid of being fat. I understand. Anyways... This is long and i\'m ranting again lol... You are loved. Wheather they show it or not....
Oh gosh....I\'ve been there..trying to trick the scales. It worked for a couple of times but then when I really didn\'t gain any weight....even the trick weight couldn\'t help me out...and when i did stop the tricks..that weight was gone and then I got in trouble..only when I really gained honest weight, is when I was out of the \"troublezone\"....I hope you don\'t get yelled at and everything goes well 2morrow..but try to gain as much \"honest\"weight for your next appointment as you can...It tends to make you a little more confident about appointments..and worry less too..thats what I always tell myself to encourage me...it\'s Very hard, but it\'s not impossible.....let me knoe how it goes...Jenny
hi hon i am also getting weighed today-GOD FREAKING HELP ME! i am dreading DREADING it..i know i have gained and i know it is gonna ruin my day. i can\'t wait til my bfriend gets home so i can just have him hold me or either i am gonna hang on to him for dear life-dear life my ass...ugh. good luck to both of us!
I\'m gonna be praying for you, Missy. I know how nervous you must be. I think everything will be ok though. Thanks for being there for me...you\'re a great friend! Hugs!
im not going to tell u that u shouldnt be trying to trick the scales cuz ive been there and i know wat it feels like before an appt...i know that u arent lying to urself and thinking that wat ur doing is actually a good thing, but i understand that u feel like u have no choice. is this the dr that ur therapist wants u to go to, or the dr that lets u get away with more? good luck by the appt!
Sorry about your Dad. I hope you can forgive him for being so insensitive. I try to forgive people even though sometimes I think they don\'t deserve it, but I do it for myself and it curbs the anger and hurt. I know your fear of the number on the scale. I was forced to be weighed for 6 years by my company. 6 years!! God.
where is water loading and fake weights going to get you? i know i\'m in a similar place, but be willing to let the doctor help you...or at least ponder the idea! you\'re worth it....seriously, you are.