so i was talking to my sister today right after she got out of class and she told me that she learned about parenting styles today and what style is best for kids. there is Authoritarian, Authorative, and Neglect.......authoritive is the best for children.....my parents were not this....my parents were authoratarians......they told us that they were ALWAYS right, my dad never apologized when he was wrong, we were spanked, slapped, heads smacked up against the walls, we were expected to bring home excellent grades, to always behave (even as little little kids), always do what we were told...we were expected to be PERFECT children.......my sister told me that this type of parenting comes with major reprocussions for the children later in life....all of which her and i have displayed....anxiety, depression, rebellion.....hmmmm....perhaps this is part of why i have an ED? but i dont like to blame other people for my ED...i know it's not my fault but id rather blame myself than blame anyone else....that way no one feels badshe also said that we both display the characteristics of the birth order...since she was born first, shes more competitive, and rebellious...whereas i avoid conflict at all costs....which i do...i dont have any enemies....i cannot think of one person who hates me...i know of people who i dont care for...but i just ignore them rather than fight with them.....i think that this is my defense mechanism to how i was raised...cuz if we fought with my parents...tempers flared...and my dad could get violent if pushed far enough....so rather than fight, i just get quiet....im too afraid of pushing someone over the edge.....right now i feel like i am trying to blame my parents for raising me the best they could...it's not their fault i have an ED and i feel guilty even thinking that they may have played a big part in it.....
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I have learned that they my parents did their best, but the environment they created and my personality played a big part in Abe\'a and mine relationship.
I learned the same thing when I was in high school. I took parenting classes because I wanted to be a pre-school teacher. The other lesson that sticks with me is \"Don\'t say don\'t\", and \" Catch them being good\". This is how I\'ve been parenting for the last 20 years, and so far so good. I will admit that parenting a special needs child is a challenge at best. I can\'t say anything about how you were raised, but I do know that you are who you are and that is a good thing. Even though you are dealing with an ED, you are still a person worth knowing and loving. Hugs~Stephanie
I feel like a lousy parent today, so I needed to hear that. I was the last of 5 girls and am the \"lost child\" unable to emotionally attach to people, so I\'ve always attached to things. still have stuffed animals, and my lucky bracelet and rabbits foot. I also like to blame other people, so that as long as I\'m unhappy I want to keep them unhappy too. First step is to realize these behaviors, then realize that was the child who didn\'t have choices. We have choices now. XOXOXOXO