i totally made the dean's list at my college! no big surprise...but hooray anyways! i totally do so much better in school when my weight is healthier...when i was almost dead, i couldnt concentrate...so i was doing so poorly.....so thats another motivator to get and keep health.....increased again today....620...i know it's only 20 calories more...but im a work in progress here! lol......i spent alot of my day while at work thinking about one of my ex boyfriends....his name was brandon and we had gone to high school together...he was a yr older than me....and we dated after we had both graduated and we dated for almost a year.....he told me he loved me....and that his love was unconditional....at that point i could totally see myself marrying him sometime down the road....but the problem was that he is in the air force and is stationed down in florida.......so i didnt see him alot....and the fact that he was going back to iraq was getting to him...and his gf having and ed was just another stressor for him........needless to say........we broke up.......how can u tell someone u love them and then never talk to them again? how am i supposed to trust a guy in the future who tells me that he loves me?!?! maybe i was just destined to die alone.......two things treatment have helped me overcome if not anorexia completely...it has helped me....1) to quit over exercising...now i dont exercise much cuz i know i will get out of control again and it WILL take over my life....i dont wanna have to do 1000 sit ups right when i wake up in the morning......never again...i cant live like that!2) i dont cook much anymore....unless i am asked to....or unless i am making something for me.....i used to cook pies, cakes, cookies, bread, and dinners...and never eat them.....i would smell them...i still sniff food (weird right?)......but now i have no drive to cook (thank god!)....which is good since i get weird around that kind of stuff cuz i dont want people to think that im obsessed....i still get a little worried if someone is talking about food to me...cuz i dont want them to think that im obsessed and that that is all i think about.......in the great words of the singer meatloaf....2 out of 3 aint bad!
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Omg... I totally do #2.. Well not as much anymore. What goes on in our heads eh? #1, I hate not exercising, but I\'m better without it. Anyways, i\'ll write more in a bit because my Mother is asking for the computer.
Weird.. I also ate 620 calories today. Ok, chow for now. Thanks for your replies. Love hearin\' them.
Congrats on making the dean\'s list, and for eating more! You are on the right track..i\'m so proud ofyou. Who knows....maybe it is meant to be with you and Brandon. If it is, you will cross paths with him in the future. That\'s what happened to me and my fiance. We were good friends in high school and lost contact for over 8 years! Have a great day!
Go figure, someone with an ED making the Dean\'s List LOL. I think it is great that you are increasing slowly. It will help your body get used to eating again and not be a traumatic for your mind. I think that 2 out 3 is great and something to focus in on as another success.