my arm still hurts....damn..right now...tetnus is looking pretty damn good when compared to the shot i had to endure!!!craig is being an asshole...i told him nicely that he couldnt make me happy...and that i dont care for his temper (or for a guy who will be bald by 35...aka receding hairline!....and a guy who doesnt have any friends to speak of....and a guy who has to have 2 jobs to support his shopping habits (gay?)....and a 25 yrs old who still lives at home with mommy and daddy!!!!)........ok the stuff in the parenthesis i didnt say because as i said im trying this nice thing on and decided to see how it worked!........well...it worked like this........he sent me a text message that went a little something like this...and i quote....."i jerked off to a picture of u in a skirt...i came real hard...but i had to cut ur head off because it was turning me off!...u also walk weird...but i still love ur legs!"ok how obvious is it that he is feeling rejected and hurt? lol i think this is funny! he's not good enough for me and that's that! my standards are higher than him and he will just have to live with the fact that i am out of his league!......i totally am not gonna waste my time on him and text him back...i am more mature than that and i dont wanna waste my time! so today at work i was sitting on this wooden tabletop and i said to my coworker jessica..."wouldnt it be funny if this broke? i would be in so much trouble!"...and she said "there is no way u could break that....u weigh all of what? 2 lbs!" like i know im thin.....but i dont think i see myself as the rest of the world does......im just scared of becoming nasty skinny to the point where i am a walking corpse......cuz if i get there its gonna be even harder to pull myself out of the mess cuz i will need to gain more weight......ahhhhhhhhhh.......like right now whenever i think back to when i was scarey skinny...i think....y didnt i just eat? i was almost dead!i am trying REALLY hard with this increase thing.....its so damn hard....but the DR told me that if i dont act on it...then i WILL be back in the hospital (not treatment center but medical hospital) by the end of summer........god! i wish i could put on weight like i used to.........ok i know...i dont really