im having mixed feelings about today...i wish there was a smiley on here with half a frown and half of a smile.....i shall list my day out...for some reason lists are easy for me to make....1. went to my dr appt......got yelled at for losing weight....was told that im underweight for my height....and i need to gain 4 lbs to be at the lower limit of my healthy weight......blah!2. was told that im due to a tetnis shot....and i said ok (figuring that they would expect me to schedule an appt) but no! they brought in the needle! ah fuck! i am terrified of needles...i started hyperventilating and begged them not to do it.....they did it3. went to my sisters house and hung out with her for like an hr4. went home and then went with my mom to my family therapy session .......found out later during the session that if my dad hadnt had that work thing that he wouldnt have come to the family session anyways......that hurt5. discussed ALOT wiht my mom and my therapist.......i cried....im so fed up with my ED and i dont want to hurt anyone or myself anymore!.......i told her that i was hurt when her and dad told me that i couldnt go out to dinner wiht them......she said she was sorry.......6. went to dinner with my mom...come on u guys saw that one coming! lol.......it went alright.....i ordered safe........wish i could eat what i used to love.....but im a work in progress! in due time my friends! in due time!7. went to walmart after to pick up some stuff....had a blast from the past.......this guy bruce that i new from a few yrs back works there and he goes to college in PA now.......he followed me all around the store lol.......my mom was like "he's so in love with u"......i was like "yes, this i know"........well all in all.......i got up.......i laughed, i talked, i cried, got stuck with a needle.......and well......i think im feeling a little bit better after all of this.......i know that i WILL recover! it just may take some falling down, a little anguish, a little stress, and a lot love for myself if i am going to pull myself out of this self made hell!........but come hell or high water......I WILL BEAT THIS!