omg i am beginning to hate the people i work with....they r still all about high school drama...probably cuz most of them are high schoolers...but o well...and like they all keep offering me deep fryed food....i cannot and will not touch it!.....i think they are beginning to suspect me of having anorexia......i feel as though they talk about it behind my back...or maybe im just paranoid...but they probably are talking about me.....im considering telling them that i cant eat the food cuz its not kosher....(im not jewish but they dont know that)....and that i cant eat the ice cream cuz im lactose intolerant (a lie)......omg there was this family today that came and they all ordered a baby cone except the one little chubby girl wanted a bigger size in a waffle cone....and her dad said "no! u dont need it"........omg that little girl reminded me of when i was a little chubby girl who wanted a big ice cream cone and i didnt need it....i totally wanted to yell at the dad " u'll be sorry that u said that when she's anorexic! u asshole!"my weight keeps going down....today i stand 6ft tall and am 134.5 pounds.....after i got out of treatment in january i was 159....i know what i have to do...its just doing it thats the hard part........isnt it truely a wonder how smart the human body is? my body has turned on its defense mechanism of not having hunger pains anymore.....therefore i do not get hungry ever...kind of make this whole recovery thing harder.......also i do not get my period and havent for 2 yrs because yet again my body employed that option as a defense mechanism so that it can use the energy that would normally be used for my menstrual cycle into keeping my heart and other organs going............wow my body never ceases to amaze me.......
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hey babe. i can\'t really get a picture of how light you are (here in australia we talk in kg not pounds. but i reckon you are pretty damn light if you haven\'t had your period for 2 years. now while i reckon my period sucks i think it\'s probably a good thing.... any idea how much you would have to weigh before your body wants to start thinking babies and releasing those little eggs from your ovaries? that might be a good space to get to before the year is out?
hey sugarbear...just want u to know if u need to talk am here. am gonna try to sleep now. again. hugs!
do you want to have babies ever?
I\'m thinking we need to get the red back, just in case you do. If it stays away too long, I\'m thinking this won\'t be easy. You can do it, you are such a champ.
i can totally relate about knowing what to do but it doesn\'t happen. my period has ceased. even though i am done having kids i know this is not good. good luck, hon
my uncle used to be like that with me! i was like im hot he would be like it\'s cause your fat! i would go to get icecream he\'d give me a look! ow well now his daughter my cousin is chuby and he tells her shes overweight and its not good but she dosnt care(yet) and like whatever i wish i was like her! i hope it dosnt effect her but in his dffence he\'s getting a lil betterx well i hope your day gets better take carex
Girl what the hell makes you think I can read that color. I had to highlight it in order to see what you wrote. You know I love you enough to not even coment on the weight loss. Mainly cause I\'m in the same place/mindset. Talk to you tonight.
yeah i totally highlighted too....hee hee...friggin parents....why do they say the wrong things? they should have to have practice kids b4 they have their own...
i understand before i even say it, that i may be completely off base. however, i care about you, and think only someone who cares enough is willing to stick their neck out. that being said, are you not even trying? it seems to me that you\'ve allowed yourself to glorify the fact that you\'re losing weight and not getting your period. i know that you know intellectually that those are not good things. this isn\'t being said out of anger, it\'s being said out of love and concern. please sweetie, check your real motives and seek more help if it\'s needed. i would hate to know that this disease took you out of this life.
Knowing me, I probably would have said something to the Dad if I could get him alone. I have a big mouth and I\'m a know it all. Working on it. Father\'s words have power that can last a lifetime.