y does my father not love me? well ok...i know he loves me he's my father so it's kind of like an unwritten rule that he HAS to...and he goes about showing it the wrong way....he treats me like shit because he's pissed about ED...he doesn't know what to do about it...and he doesn't like that...i don't think i'll ever be good enough for him...i keep hearing him say to me "you're fucking weird"....i want him to be proud of me...not ashamed.....i'm doing what everyone wants me to do! i'm going to college...getting A's!!!....working my butt off.....and yet the thing he hoans in on is the one area where i am a failure...my eating disorder....i try so hard to live up his standards....before he went to sleep tonight i asked him what major i should pick for college so that i can be an accountant...and he said and i quote "i don't care...do what u want"...he's a guidance couselor so he knows about this crap...and yet he won't help his own daughter...i must not be worth the time...he probably thinks i'm gonna keel over and die b4 i ever have the chance to have a career....i think he is totally waiting for me to lose alot of weight so that i will have to go back to program...so he can say "i told u so" and so that i will have to gain a ton of weight and be unhappy....well i'll show him! i am gonna do my damdest to maintain what ive got! they arent gonna send me back there!
for once i want my father to congratulate me for my A's instead of berate me for a single speeding ticket...or for the fact that i don't wanna go out to dinner with them and instead i'd prefer to sleep in the backseat of the car while they eat.....I AM SO SORRY!! =(...i am doing the best i can...and apparantly my best is not good enough.....
for once i want my father to congratulate me for my A's instead of berate me for a single speeding ticket...or for the fact that i don't wanna go out to dinner with them and instead i'd prefer to sleep in the backseat of the car while they eat.....I AM SO SORRY!! =(...i am doing the best i can...and apparantly my best is not good enough.....
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grrrrr....men and their emotions....why can\'t they sit down and talk it out eh! (im canadian if you ever wonder whats up with me using \'eh\') well prove him wrong.....stick with the maintain your weight thing....rock the hell outta your grades...and become a awesome accountant...go to someone else to ask about the courses if u feel the need.....you can do it, you don\'t need anyones help. show that ur strong...show that ur not just and ED...and if u get the chance explain its a illness just like \"real\" sick people...gahhhh we\'re sick! we\'re not retarded!
jeeeezzzz. Can he read \"the secret language of eating disorders\". He isn\'t acting like a guidance couselor, he\'s acting like a mad dad.
i know exactly where you are coming from except its from my mum....she seems to hate me for no reason. She herself has an ED and she know that i have one yet she seems to put me down the whole time calling me a freak and odd and bloody wierd, she can tell whats up an its like she dosnt give a shit, she gives me food i dont want and has a go at me coz i wont eat it yet she says whenever my dad tells my little sisters to finish their dinners that u shldnt force people to eat food they dont want dam hypocrit! i never know what to do as everytime i seem to get myelf on track an getting better she seems to say soemething to kick me off again (and it is never as easy as not listening to it) after about 10 years of the same u fat loose weigh, u look ugly that loose size half a stone or a stone an u will look pretty, you loose that stone and she says ohhhh loose more u will loook so much nicer! ohhhhhhhhhhh i cant wait to leave home it will help so much ! keep ya chin up gal and look to the future ur dad probs does really care but he just is afraid of loosing you and the way things can spiral out of control...GOOD LUCK IN UR EXAMS u will KICK ASS!!!!
this comes totally from an understanding heart: do not let your father dictate whether you are good enough- YOU ARE! why try to impress someone who is cruel/rude/ass like? he is not worthy of you being in his life if that is how he wants to treat you. i\'m so sorry you have to deal with him. the best thing that worked for me is to put up boundaries. it helps to keep the hurt from settling into your body and mind. please know that with this type of attitude/personality he may never recognise you for the wonder that you truly are. and you truly are a wonder! =)