FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK..........i have lost weight AGAIN!!!....i weighed myself yesterday .....down a pound ok w/e....today i weighed myself right after i got out of the shower...so i was soaking wet....and i was down 2 more pounds than i was the last time i had weighed myself...i am having a hard time convincing myself to eat more than i had already planned on consuming....i plan ahead usually and i STICK to that plan or do less than it...it is hard for me to add more food but it's easy to take it away....please don't anyone on here leave a comment telling me that i should eat....this will only make little miss ANA scream at me that u guys want me to eat so that i will get fat while u guys restrict and get to stay skinny....(if that makes any sense...i know logically it doesn't but in my head it sounds perfectly sane).....god i CANNOT lose any weight and get skinnier..this will only ensure me a place in treatment over the summer...i need to stay out of treatment cuz they will make me gain 20 pounds.....i cannot live like that....i know that i am skinny (i am anorexic but i do not look in the mirror and see myself as fat..although i do feel fat sometimes) .....but i cannot stop myself....i wish i could eat what i want and not worry about my weight going up...or i wish that i could never eat again and still have energy and not have to worry about my weight plummeting.....god it's about the weight but yet it's not...i need to control what i eat and what i do not allow myself...if i were a fatass but i still controlled a diet where the food was scarce i would still feel so strong.....god i wish i didnt feel this way everyday...i am a mess...there is the HUGE war in my head...i wish it would stop!!!!
Replies
I suppose you should be happy that you are working on it and that you have a plan. You know you are better off then the worst you could be. The great thing about \"working\" on something is that wether you do good or bad your still working on it. You havnt lost sight in whats going on. so dont be too hard on yourslef because that can only take you down a notch. Just think tomorrow will be better and work on it.
Hope that made sense.
Best wishes
Taressa
You are very special and I am always here for you. Like you said you are working on it and that is all anyone can ask right now.
I can truly understand how you feel, even though I can\'t identify with it. I don\'t know what to say to help. Just know that I\'m here for you...hugs!!!
you have the right mindset hun. it\'s good that losing weight is bothering you. maybe if you could journal, then the REAL issue that is keeping you from eating properly at the moment will surface and you can deal with it. i dunno, sometimes that helps me. because it\'s NOT about food/weight. there is something else bothering you that is causing you to not eat enough and we both know that! i\'m here if you need to talk sweetie.
It is good like erica says u are worried with ur weightloss, at least you accept that it is an issue for you, that you are trying to address.