i was just on myspace....got caught up looking at my ex's page....i found out which girl he decided was more worth his time than me...i know the one he decided to cheat on me with....her middle name is fantasy....im for serious here....damn bitch...what does she have that i dont? or rather is it what i have that she doesnt (my ed) that made her more appealing than me...he did say my ed might be too much for him to handle...it just would have been nice of him to break up with me rather than to cheat on me...i dunno just a thought....any who
CONFESSION TIME....my therapist informed me when i told her these confessions that many people with ED do this kind of stuff and that i should not beat my self up about them...but i think i am a piece of shit for doing them...and not a day goes by that i do not berate myself for them...yes i may have been deep in the throes of my illness and not thinking clearly but that is NO excuse....well here they r...if no one wants to talk to me after i confess to these...i understand
1) i got caught shoplifting from walmart...and prior to getting caught i was stealing all of the time....i have not done it since and will never again
2) i repeated took money from my grandma's purse (yes my own grandmother =( )......everyone in my immediate family knows about this (my mom ,my dad, my grandma ,her son) and i have not had the guts to say im sorry...i dont even feel worthy of being in the same room as my family because of this and i cannot look my grandma in the eye
3) this one's not illegal and i still do it...it's just kind of embarassing...whenever i get coffee...i stuff my purse full of splenda and equal packets at the counter where u fix ur coffee.....hey c'mon it's free...it's like at halloween when those people put the candy buckets out with the sign that says help urself...u know the kids help themselves to alot!
to anyone who feels that they can bring themselves to still talk to me after i have confessed these evil doings...i sincerely thank u from the bottome of my heart!
CONFESSION TIME....my therapist informed me when i told her these confessions that many people with ED do this kind of stuff and that i should not beat my self up about them...but i think i am a piece of shit for doing them...and not a day goes by that i do not berate myself for them...yes i may have been deep in the throes of my illness and not thinking clearly but that is NO excuse....well here they r...if no one wants to talk to me after i confess to these...i understand
1) i got caught shoplifting from walmart...and prior to getting caught i was stealing all of the time....i have not done it since and will never again
2) i repeated took money from my grandma's purse (yes my own grandmother =( )......everyone in my immediate family knows about this (my mom ,my dad, my grandma ,her son) and i have not had the guts to say im sorry...i dont even feel worthy of being in the same room as my family because of this and i cannot look my grandma in the eye
3) this one's not illegal and i still do it...it's just kind of embarassing...whenever i get coffee...i stuff my purse full of splenda and equal packets at the counter where u fix ur coffee.....hey c'mon it's free...it's like at halloween when those people put the candy buckets out with the sign that says help urself...u know the kids help themselves to alot!
to anyone who feels that they can bring themselves to still talk to me after i have confessed these evil doings...i sincerely thank u from the bottome of my heart!
Replies
It\'s ok! We all make mistakes and we all do things we aren\'t proud of. I don\'t think any less of you. I think if I were you, I would apologize to your grandma though.....it\'s in the past anyway, and what if something happens to her and you never tell her you\'re sorry. You\'ll feel better if you do it. As for the splenda theft......we\'d all be in trouble if that was a crime! Have a good night...hugs!
I will still talk to you. They really aren\'t that bad when you think about it. It is not like you killed someone. Everyone makes mistakes. And I am guilty on loading up on the free stuff, not splenda, but lots of other things.
haha i stuff my bag full of equal coffee, oh well im a paying customer, i can\'t help it, and it saves me money. My worst thing i do, is stealing the magazines or ripping out pages from them of ppl i like to scrapbook so i sit in drs rooms and cafes ripping out pages lol. or if i like the mag ill take it. With ur grandmother, I would go and see her, and appoligse, she is getting older, and if she passed u may regret not doing it. I understand about the urges of taking magazines, if i don\'t have a picture i start panicking. Huggs. It was good for u to get it off ur chest.
Well it\'s def good to confess these things, esp. if you are thinking about them alllll the time and regretting them. Its good to be honest with people you trust. And honestly, thats what kids do all the time, stealing stuff from stores, it is by no means a horrendous act, illegal yes, unforgiveable NO! Grandmas purse? Kids do that too, albeit it looks worse b/c its \"ur litte old grandma.\" But as those sayins go, grands are sweet and i\'m sure she\'ll forgive you. And if for some crazy reason she doesnt, you\'ll feel at least a little bit better telling her your sorry. maybe at first you could write her a letter. and then think about doin it in person. G/L!
Confessing is the first step to healing and eventually you will be able to apologize to grandma. I\'ve been there. And, we all do stupid things and then think \"what the hell is wrong with me?\" If anyone thinks they are so good not to talk to you, they have bigger issues than any of us.