i feel as though i obsess about my ED...ana is in my thoughts all of the time...not a day goes by (or it seems like not a minute goes by) when she is not in my mind haunting my thoughts and ruining my life....i think about how im different from all of the kids here at school, how i dont know what intuitive eating is anymore, how i might go back to treatment, how good having an empty stomach feels, where i will get my next cup of coffee, what i shall eat today, and etc etc etc.......calories are weaving in and out of my thoughts every second...i cannot catch a break...and sometimes i wonder if i really want a break, or what i would do if i had one.....
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This is how your mind is used to working lately so if you were to try and change that I think it would be terrifying because it is all new!
just take your day one task at a time, go to your 1st class, try & concentrate just one hour at a time! Shoot sometimes I have to take it one minute at at time! You\'re not alone though!
that is exactly how i feel. I wonder what it would be like to wake up and not already have a plan for what I\'m gong to eat. Last night I went to the dining hall with a friend and everyone was grabbing pizza and pasta and quesadillas and cookies and I went for the carrots...I can\'t even imagine living any other way. I recently realized that how I thought wasn\'t normal...that was an odd feeling! Just try not to listen to ana, I know it\'s always there, but sometimes you just have to punch her in the face and continue forward. I wish it were that easy..haha
ED is a monster, it will do everything it can to control your mind. It is a normal abnormal. I was struck by the fact your ED is female, mine is male. Treatment for all of us is the answer, we just have to do it in our own time it cannot be forced. I don\'t understand intuitive eating either, it is an all or nothing. I am hear for you.
I know how you feel. I am constantly consumed by thoughts of my ED. I can\'t stand it, but no matter what I can\'t change either.
You can get through it. You need to find an effective treatment program no matter what the cost... I would consider the one from the book... it looks like she has amazing results...