u know the old say there's no rest for the weary? well having an ED makes u one of the weariest people out there...even when im supposed to be resting...my ED creeps up on me...yes i have dreams where my ED is present...in my dreams i get scared of french fries and pizza and turn down cake when it's offered just as i would if i were awake...do i ever get a break?
the other night i dreamt that my malnutrition had affected my teeth so badly that they had to be extracted....and this is a nightmare for me because my teeth r perfect and they didnt start out that way...but a root canal, 5 pulled teeth, an expander, and braces made them into something that i am proud to say are flawless and i love love love them...so this nightmare scared the shit out of me....but what scared me that most was...after i woke up from it...i continued the way i always do....i continued to give into ED...is there nothing that will stop me???
On my trip to starbucks today i realized that i am constantly looking for the thing that i can do taht will normalize me and cure me....like starting college which didnt work.....then it was get a different job which didnt cure me... then i had to leave my job and college to go to the hospital....then it was get back going to college to try and normalize myself......and now i wanna get another job......i dont know but i think ive concluded that doing normal things that a person my age does is not gonna magically cure me or make me anymore normal......can't blame me for trying right?
the other night i dreamt that my malnutrition had affected my teeth so badly that they had to be extracted....and this is a nightmare for me because my teeth r perfect and they didnt start out that way...but a root canal, 5 pulled teeth, an expander, and braces made them into something that i am proud to say are flawless and i love love love them...so this nightmare scared the shit out of me....but what scared me that most was...after i woke up from it...i continued the way i always do....i continued to give into ED...is there nothing that will stop me???
On my trip to starbucks today i realized that i am constantly looking for the thing that i can do taht will normalize me and cure me....like starting college which didnt work.....then it was get a different job which didnt cure me... then i had to leave my job and college to go to the hospital....then it was get back going to college to try and normalize myself......and now i wanna get another job......i dont know but i think ive concluded that doing normal things that a person my age does is not gonna magically cure me or make me anymore normal......can't blame me for trying right?
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I know what you mean. I think the only thing that can cure us is constant therapy :p or at least enough until we don\'t need it anymore... whenever that may be... I don\'t see that day coming anytime soon... I really hope my Spanish teacher doesn\'t ask any questions I would be soo upset.