well i just finished up a little bit of schoolwork...i still have more to go but at the moment i am celebrating this little victory!!! it's currently 6pm...and i have not managed to eat anything today....im not hungry at all...but i know that i should have something in me....i dont want anything in me but i know that in order to keep out of partial i must must must maintain what i have!!!...and also if i wanna get a job ASAP i need to stay healthy enough to do it...(with a steady income i can do my favorite thing in the world...SHOP!!!!!)...still i have to go to the back and pull out at least $200 to pay for that damn ticket...my court date is may 8 and im a little (ok a lot scared)...ive gone with my sister b4...but i was not the perp.....i feel like im am at my wits end with this guy matt....he keeps calling me and i dont wanna hurt his feelings...i have a bf and i know that matt wants to date me...i have NOOOO interest in him like that and i know that i am doing the wrong thing by not confronting him (or even talking to him)...i am doing a brillant ballet of avoiding him...i do not answer his calls or his texts.....i feel like a huge bitch....but at the same time i am doing it to spare his feelings....well i think i may go and maybe try to eat something.......
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Okay so what you wrote about working out on my journal, i definitely thought I was the only one that made it a competition. And I thought that was so messed up! This sounds really bad, but I look at how many calories other people have lost because I have to lose more than them. That is so horrible, but that\'s why I liked it at home when I had my own tredmill. And now I have to go to the campus gym with dozens of other people around me! it killllls me! I\'m glad I\'m not the only one though...I really thought I was screwed up there. haha. You sould definitely try to eat somethin\' though...at least you are aware that you need to maintain the weight you are at. And that weight is probably so much healthier than what you were before. Hopefully after a while you will learn how to eat healthy and maintain that weight, but try not to starve yourself! That will just make you lose ya know? I know what you mean though...right now I am at the upper level of my \"healthy\" weight, and I hate it. It just makes you more tempted to lose weight. Anyway...that was a rant, but I am proud of you for trying to maintain it! Keep it up and be strong!
I agree with both of you when you say that working out around other people is like a competition. I feel that I have \"won\" if I can run faster and stay longer on the tredmill or am able to lift heavier weights. Why the hell is that?? But missy please eat something. I know you\'re not hungry but you need it to survive. Even when I have my bouts of anxiety and I don\'t feel like eating anything for days...i make myself. And just tell Matt that you have a boyfriend because it\'s not like you are totally blowing him off, you\'re just already in a relationship. A guy will understand that. Good for you for trying to maintain your weight. Keep it up girlie!!