well the day had some ups and downs...unfortunateky more downs than ups.....1st for the good news...i told the new bf about the ED and he was really understanding about it and assured me that he isnt going anywhere....then things went downhill....i went to rochester for my appt with the ED dr.....well the nurse took my weight and vitals (after the whole trip there i drank and drank....and i really needed to pee but i held it!!!!!!!!!)...then she led me to the room to wait for the dr...she put my charts in the bin outside of the exam room and walked away...and like i always do i took ym chart out and peeked at my weight....and with all of the diet soda in my body i was only down a pound thank god....then the dr came in and even though my weight was pretty much the same she still threatened partial!!! she said that she thinks that a refresher course over the summer would help my eating.....that pissed me off...its not like i have dropped another 20 pounds like i did right after i got out of program...i am holding steady wehre i am but she never seems to be happy unless she is threatening me!!!! UGH...so when i was almost home i decided that i was in great need of some starbucks...so i was on my way there....and i got pulled over for speeding!!!!!!! 46 in a 30...but it was my first ticket ever!! and he didnt let me off...the cop was a complete dickhead...well i am off to spend the night wiht my bf....his parents are out of town...and im a little nervous because this is breaking my routine and i really dont wanna go out of the house...and also i have to go to therapy...and this is a session with my therapist and my parents...so im stressing about that....they r gonna voice how poorly they think im doing and how they think partial is a must over the summer......i cant wait til tomorrow is over wiht...i can have these stressful appts over with and i can get back to my routine...and maybe get some school work done!!!! ok im sorry about writing sooo much and i wanna say thank u to anyone who reads this all the way to the end!!!!
Replies
You\'re going to do fine with the appointment tomorrow. You just have to keep in mind that your parents are suggesting patial because they are trying to help and are fighting for you! I\'m sorry about your speeding ticket! Cops are usually dickheads about that. Take care.
I think it might be a good idea to do the refresher course... you probably do need it... I mean you\'ve admitted yourself that you aren\'t better... Just an opinion of someone who cares about you... I am glad your bf understands... just don\'t expect him to get it, cause he won\'t
as much as you don\'t want to, the refresher course probably is a good thing in the long run. I\'m glad the doctor appt went well though. I\'m glad the new boyfriend understands, but like Sam said, he won\'t get it. As long as he tries though, that is the best he can do!
I know you hate it,but you obviously aren\'t completely better, so you probably need the refresher course. I know how much tickets suck..I\'ve gotten so many of them over the years! I hate cops!! Hope you have a good day tomorrow..hugs!
Sorry about your tickets. I hate cops after the other night (see my journal w/ redface) I want you to beat this thing. I know its comfortable to stick with the ED when it\'s all you know, and how things have been for so long...It\'s like what would you be without it...think how much time in the day there would be. I know... I obsess constantly, although usually it is about my ex bf. If I gave it up I feel like I would have to move on and that\'s scary. Do the refresher course. But don\'t keep going to treatment unless you really are sick of this keeping you down. I thought I was sick of my issues so I kept going to therapy, but I was clinging for dear life to the same things that made me sick. It\'s not wrong for sometimes liking your disorder, you are comfortable with it now. Truth is, you are perfect, and beautiful. Lot\'s of people are proud of you. Read \"A Woman\'s Worth\" by Marianne Williamson or \"You can heal your Life\"..the illustrated version by Louise Hay. They will make you feel proud of yourself!~
I agree with Mariec513. You like routines and right now ED is your routine. You cannot live forever with this lifestyle. It is scary to change but it needs to happen. Do the refresher course...get well and move forward with a life without ED. You can do it girlie!!
hey girl. I am so very happy you have someone in your life who is supportive. Although I can say from personal experience that my boyfriend does know about it and he trys so hard to stay on top of it, I feel like women bare all of the weight of the world.... he doesnt really get it. I think you should push yourself to go to the course this summer, even though it is REALLY something you dont want to do. The only way to get better is to push yourself to do some things that are uncomfortable. I have no doubt that you can overcome this.