well let me sum up my day...
1) made it through easter dinner without eating a thing and without anyone but me knowing i didnt eat a thing (woo hoo)
2) typed up 10 page paper (woo hoo)
3)cousin who has down syndrome ate too much at dinner and barfed all over the dining room floor (ew)

so all in all it was an umm interesting easter? right now im sitting here worrying about tomorrow...tomorrow i have to drive 1.5 hours out to rochester to see my eating disorders dr.....she wants to send me back to program...i do not wanna go back to program because they will make me go back to 100% of my ideal body weight and i am NOT comfortable there!!!! i do not like my ED but i love my flat tummy!!!! and i love how in control i am of my hunger!....ugh i hate that woman dr...while i was in the hospital (inpatient not at the partial program) she had a feeding tube shoved down my nose twice.....so i think u can see why i hate this woman!!!! i just hope that i havent lost too much weight ...i cannot and will not go back to program...i know this isnt a good thing to say but since this is my journal i will say it...im gonna drink a ton of water and diet coke before i get there...i dont care if my bladder feels like its gonna explode!!! i am deperate!!! i am worried!!!! i hate this feeling!