omg i just got out of my night class.....before the class i went to starbucks for my fix...and while i was there there was this woman working there who i havent seen in awhile and as someone said on here its kind of hard seeing someone who hasnt seen u in awhile when u have changed so much....she had been a starbucks worker for a long time and i have been a starbucks customer for a long time...needless to say she saw me at my lowest point ...and upon seeing me today she was OMG!!! u look so good...u look so healthy...ur gorgeous!!! and there was a new guy working there...and he kept looking at me...and all i could think was omg shut up shut up!!! i did not need this guy to knwo that i haven always looked this way...i can pretty much guess that after i left he went and asked her why seh was so surprised and happy to see me...and y on earth seh was gushing that i looked so much better..then i got to thinking...well i know i look better than i did b4 i went to treatment....im up 25-30 pounds right now...but im down 20 pounds since leaving treatment on january 15 (that's right i remembered the date lol)...so im like between my lowest weight and my goal weight right now.....and as far as im concerned im happy in the middle of the 2 numbers since the low weight scares me since i could die and the goal weight scares me because to me that means that im normal and that to me means fat and not special and thin....well i think im rambling so ill stop now.......