8-5-24
Hi Sisters,
I got a text back from the art instructor which was very cordial...however he made a point that he had filled his classes and felt that they would stay full...ahem...so basically don't come. It hurt my feelings a little bit, but I understand. He makes money by filling seats and for me to reserve a spot 3 times and back out is not good for his business. So, it is probably for the best right now...I won't be tempted to try again. I hope this agoraphobia will get better in time but I am terrified it won't. I have to keep reminding myself...it's only been six months.
It's okay for me to still be loopy at times and does no one any good to push myself out before I am ready. I guess I am just afraid that by hiding away from the world in my relatively safe cocoon I might never want to leave, it might even get worse.
I got a text back from the art instructor which was very cordial...however he made a point that he had filled his classes and felt that they would stay full...ahem...so basically don't come. It hurt my feelings a little bit, but I understand. He makes money by filling seats and for me to reserve a spot 3 times and back out is not good for his business. So, it is probably for the best right now...I won't be tempted to try again. I hope this agoraphobia will get better in time but I am terrified it won't. I have to keep reminding myself...it's only been six months.
It's okay for me to still be loopy at times and does no one any good to push myself out before I am ready. I guess I am just afraid that by hiding away from the world in my relatively safe cocoon I might never want to leave, it might even get worse.
Replies
I am sorry he was so abrupt. I believe it will get better. You do go to see your psychiatrist alone so you are not totally agoraphobic... I hope you are okay to go with your husband. Eventually, with small steps I think you will be fine. You are so right. It is only 6 months.
And when the time is right, you will find an art teacher who will be the right one.
I wish you were coming to Tahoe though.
Huge hugs, Marlene
Big hugs.
It\'s sad how our grief manifests itself in so many different ways. 6 months is still so very new on the grief journey. Sending tight hugs,
Terry
You are so at the beginning of this journey that none of us wanted to go on. You are doing so well..keep taking those baby steps because they add up to miles and miles.xoxoxo
Gina, your journey is so new and raw. you are doing the best you can and I am proud of you. It is ok to cocoon. You need to listen to what your body, mind and spirit are telling you to do. Be gentle on yourself. Love to you and Cassi, Linda
Dear Gina: I think what Linda said is true. just do what ever you feel like doing you just lost your daughter and you are doing pretty good i guess, I did pretty good when Roz passed accept all the anxiety panic attacks . It is a horrible experience for a mother to bear. God I would love it if we could just talk to our daughters and know what is going on where are they . I got to go I have such a headache. Bless your sweet angel hugs mary ann
Yes, you have taken HUGE steps in your survival and healing in these past 6 months. And YES, it\'s only been six months and that is a really, really short amount of time. And YES, you\'re allowed to be loopy and cocoon as needed!
Linda hit it right on....listen to what your body, mind, and spirit are saying....
LOVE YOU!
Love to Cassi!
Six months feels like a lifetime, but it is relatively a short time. Be gentle with yourself. One step at a time, listen to your inner guidance. Sue xo
Feeling loopy is part of our new normal and it\'s okay and just has to be...
I cannot not even tell you the countless times I thought I could do something and then at the last minute was filled with such dread that I had to just back out. This is the grief path and it is what you are walking dear Gina. You must continue to allow yourself lots and lots of wiggle room and I still do six years later. I have to because if I don\'t no one else will.
Loving care to both Cassi and YOU!
XO Joanie