8/3/2013
Exactly 2 weeks today since we had any contact at all. Monday it will be 4 weeks since I've seen him. It is humbling and heartbreaking to me to realize that if he's even noticed my absence, he doesn't care. I'm doing...I don't know how I'm doing. not well I think. Don't want to do anything but sleep. Don't even feel like eating, though I do force myself to eat a little. No motivation to do the things I should do or the things that would probably make me feel better. Still have not gone to the Social Security office to get my name changed back. Keep finding stupid reasons to not go. I need to do that, go swimming, go to the gym, and go to church. All of this was in my plan....but have not been able to make myself do any of it. Doing good just to make myself go to work. Need to go back to the dr because my anti depression meds are not working anymore. I suspect that I might be bi-polar. But cannot make myself do that either. Not getting much out of therapy anymore either. There's only so many times you can say the same thing. I'm just hunkering down and waiting for this mood to pass.
Replies
Keep up the No Contact-I too had a hard time with the realization that after 27 years he truly just didn\'t care anymore.
Just do ONE thing today-anything that makes YOU feel better-even if it\'s just 1/2 hour.
This will pass-hugs to you friend
I understand how hard it is to accept that they are not part of our lives and that we need to move on. It has been only one month. Be kind and gentle with yourself. The no contact rule is the way to go. Look after yourself first, then everything else. One step at a time, my friend. hugs
Thanks. We\'ve been divorced awhile. I just now started the no contact. I\'d tried before but I would get so unhappy and I\'d feel better as soon as I\'d had conversation with him. But, I can see in the long run it hampered my growth and moving forward. He was my best friend for so many years, someone who knew me so well and still (I thought) loved me. I miss him terribly and I\'m so lonely, but I have to move on. even if getting back together came up, I would say no. I could never trust him again and there were too many hurtful things said to me. So I\'m done-no matter what. I\'ve been coming home on Fridays and not leaving my apartment until I go to work on Monday. An easy habit to fall in to and a difficult one to break. I will try and go out at least once today, even if it\'s just to take the garbage to the dumpster.