My son Ryan would be 25 years old next wed, august 8th...I can't believe its been 6 years, 4 months since Ryan went to heaven... My oldest and only son Forever 18...I love you Ryan and miss you Soooo much...Through all the excruciating pain, learning to live life without you Ryan has given me strength I thought was impossible...I think of you everyday...You know how much I love you you were my life and my little man!! We had a special bond, you are in my heart always everywhere I go. I know you are guilding me to a happy destiny...I have to fight the pain & saddness all the time...Fighting those battles in my head, urrrrrr... I have to turn the saddness into all the fun times we had... I have learned when I see someone who reminds me of you, it is a sign showing me that you are near, giving me comfort, then I feel warm, full of joy and love soooo very deep in my heart, I learned signs you give me through people places and things. Your sense of humor is still the same as before... I chuckle and say to myself, I KNOW ITS YOU RY!! Then I say I love you RYAN and thank you for being there when I need you the most...The numbers you show me is a hugh sign from you, it amazes me how often certain numbers jump out at me and I think of you Ry, I know in my heart its you..At the right time certain Songs come on which makes me smile...I know its you baby! When I go on my retreats every year with all the moms who have lost a child, You show up with unbelievable signs, like Ryan's bar and Grill! Then down the road I go by a bank, the Clock changes to 4:15.. I know its you telling me you love me, and I say "I love you too RYAN!!" I 've seen SO much more, it goes on and on..I can't tell people who have never lost a child, b/c they don't understand, they look at me like i'm crazy. HaHaHa! Ya, RIGHT HUH!! When I have more time I'll write more of all the ways I notice those awesome signs you have shown me...I always wanted you to be happy and i know you are guiding me to a happy destiny...You are my buddy and best friend forever! I love you with every fiber in my body... Keep on guiding me!!!! Oh, by the way your wish for Erica has been accomplished...Keep on guiding her too!! Ryan you always were a peace maker and the light of SO many here on earth as you are in heaven! Love, MOM
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Just cried my eyes out!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox ...
Written so lovely......(((((hugs))))))
Beautiful and eloquent. Ryan\'s very being just jumped out at me as I was reading this. Thank you for helping all of us to remember that our children are ever near ~ we simply need to \"stop, look and listen\"!
With love and big birthday hugs to you and Ryan ~ Debbie
On the 8th of Aug. I will stop and have a minute of quiet and thought in honor of your Ryan\'s 25th birthday. Wishing you a gentle day of pleasant memories of your precious boy. XOXO Debbie
What a loving tribute to your Ryan on his birthday which is coming up. You are so open to all of the ways in which he is letting you know that he IS with you. Such a gift dear Kelly!
I too will be sending up birthday wishes for Ryan on the 8th and hope you will feel his incredible presence surrounding you.
Such an amazing son Ryan is in every way. I celebrate the two of YOU!
With love, Joanie
I love you Kelly. And loving you, knowing you, means loving and knowing Ryan too...and I do! I love the signs and SOOOOO know they are real and they are RYAN!
Thank you Ryan for teaching us all!!!! Keep those signs coming sweetie!
So much love, so heartfelt. I know all about \"I have to fight the pain & saddness all the time.\" Those signs are real and personal from Ryan just for you.
It was so wonderful meeting you Kelly. Sending love, Terry
I can feel your sadness but also the gladness and love you have having Ryan as your sone. So many signs, he must love you so much to show you so many signs. I would like to be your friend. Truly, BarbaraWawa
What a tribute to a wonderful young man. Love and hugs on Wednesday. My thoughts will be with you.
Big hugs, Marlene
Sending you loving hugs. The love for you your Ryan comes through ineach word you wrote. We miss our sons and this journey may have some easy days but it is filled with hard ones and these little signs help our broken hearts. Hugs Wendy
It is truly wonderful when we get those signs from our children. I am just starting to see them, I guess that when the pain is still so new that you can miss them. You\'ve come a long way baby! Your strength and love has given me much inspiration tonight thank you so much for sharing your journal with me. Hugs...Kathy
Kelly, what a sweet journal and tribute to Ryan. I know he feels the love you have for him and sends those signs to you. I will be thinking of you this week and hope that your memories of Ryan will bring you peace and you will get lots more of those loving signs from him! Hugs, Kim
So much love shared.
((hugs))
What a beautiful tribute to Ryan!! Happy Birthday Ryan!! My thoughts are with you on this special day!! Sending you peace for this day and every day!!
Nell
Kelly, this is such a beautiful entry filled with love for your son! The sadness lifts a bit when we receive these amazing signs! Ryan is communicating with you, his loving mom forever. Happy birthday precious Ryan! Love and hugs, Linda