Today was a bit of a rough day, though it turned out much better than I anticipated. Praise the Lord for His goodness.
I essentially woke up, stressed out about not having a full time job and at a complete loss as to how to do my job search today. I've been feeling a bit off my game the last couple of days. I'm dealing with some serious anger issues with my dad and my abuser (who is not my dad), and it's taken a toll on me.
I still can't remember the situation with my uncle, who I now know is (one of) my abuser(s). But it's dark and frightening, lots of rough motion and hands. And blood. I can't get the image of blood out of my head, and that's enough to freak me out alone.
But my aunt, who I live with, helped me with my job search, and I felt a lot better this afternoon. Still a little cloudy, but better.
i could use some prayer right now. Two of my close friends are no longer speaking to me, each for different reasons. It is so hard to lose people, especially at a time like this. But I feel like the Lord is closing doors to keep me safe right now. Still, it does not lessen the sting my heart feels, nor make the hole each of them have left any less deep.
One step at a time. That's all I can do. Holding fast to my Savior, knowing He will guide me.
I essentially woke up, stressed out about not having a full time job and at a complete loss as to how to do my job search today. I've been feeling a bit off my game the last couple of days. I'm dealing with some serious anger issues with my dad and my abuser (who is not my dad), and it's taken a toll on me.
I still can't remember the situation with my uncle, who I now know is (one of) my abuser(s). But it's dark and frightening, lots of rough motion and hands. And blood. I can't get the image of blood out of my head, and that's enough to freak me out alone.
But my aunt, who I live with, helped me with my job search, and I felt a lot better this afternoon. Still a little cloudy, but better.
i could use some prayer right now. Two of my close friends are no longer speaking to me, each for different reasons. It is so hard to lose people, especially at a time like this. But I feel like the Lord is closing doors to keep me safe right now. Still, it does not lessen the sting my heart feels, nor make the hole each of them have left any less deep.
One step at a time. That's all I can do. Holding fast to my Savior, knowing He will guide me.
Replies
Oh Tori I\'m so sorry you\'re having a rough time right now :/ I\'ll be praying into those situations for you. I know it\'s scary and there\'s little I can do to lessen that, but just know that we are here and God is with you through the darkness.
I understand the friend situation, over Christmas one of my closest friends told me that I wasn\'t good enough for her and has pretty much cut contact with me. I pray that we\'ll both have peace and fill these holes with faith in God.
I\'ll be praying Tori, in the mean time, I find Psalm 46 such an encouragement, maybe it will help you a bit?
Kay x
There\'s an old, but true quote about this:
God closes doors to open windows!!
Be on the look-out. God has your best interest in mind.