Still Here

Funny i just noticed that it has been exactly a month since I last wrote in my journal.I guess thats how long I let my deppression build up before I just cant keep it bottled up anymore.Every day seems  to be slideing into the next.I have been spending alot of time in bed and when I am up I dont bother getting dressed.I feel like an emotional mess and I cant seem to snap out of it.My financial situation is literly makeing me physically ill.....I feel all alone and the darkness is swallowing me alive.My little ones gave me thier Christmas lists and I just shut myself in my bedroom and cried.I have been trying to sell things on craigslist for money with no luck.I cant stop the tears now as I write...I cant handle all these problems on my own anymore . I have no physical friends anymore and I barely leave the house unless I have to.I am tired of cooking,cleaning,laundry and trying to make ends meet.......Where is the person I used to be???? I took care of everyone and everything .Worked full time and never had a minute to rest.Now I am a waste of space...I just want to go back to the silence and darkness of my bedroom....