well my internet was off for awhile.money problems are more than i can handle!!there is nothing worse than hearing your kids say they are cold and hungry. i just feel so numb anymore....i barely sleep.... i have came to the conclusion - the reason i dont want to go to bed is i figure if its the end of the day and i acually  made it through and i do go to sleep i will be facing another day of hell and each day always seems worse than the day before.my kids deserve so much more than i can give them right now.....