im just glad i could get on here my computer is in really bad shape. i dont think ive been oing well as of late and everyones happy for m that i got a job. i should be happy. but im not. i called 1800 suicide like 6 times last night in a drunken depression. i dont see a point to even move foward anymore. i feel worthless. like im taking up everyone elses air. i know im not alone i know i have people who care about me but i feel alone. i feel like no one understands. i just wish i could enjoy life again. people ask me what makes me happy and i really dont know anymore. i lost intrest in the things i once loved and im sceptical of trying new things. im just afraid of life anymore. life is my enemy.