ive come to realize the fact that the only time im ever happy is when im drunk is probably a problem.i mean ive kicked heroin and angel dust...and i cant kick drinking and beleive me ive tried. but a huge part of me sees alchohol as the only thing i have left in my life.im dealing with a really shitty break up,i dont have a job,im comming to terms that i was sexually abused as a child which ive tried my best to block and the fact that i dont even wanna breathe anymore. and my family has not been supportive of me dealing with the fact that ive lost the love of my life and i dont think ill ever be able to fall in love ever again.