today was okay i guess. i went out to the bar with my homie and these 2 other people i just met they seem cool. only had one beer and one shot of jager. it really sucks being broke man i wish i coulda got hammered. hopefully ill be able to get to sleep tonight without having to call the suicide hotline. i dont even know what the point of that hotline is i mean if u killed yourself while talking to them what the fuck can they do about it? i guess its just someone to talk to about your problems and try and work shit out i guess. i really wanna try and help myself out of this hole. i deserve better than this and i deserve to be happy.