jarod is crying so much. he is weepy all the time, he reacts way overly sensitive if anyone, even a teacher, reprimands him. he can be wild, crazy, aggressive, plays rough. but if anyone looks at him the wrong way he cries and cries and cries. i decided to take down all the photos and memories from the walls of jessy. for now. maybe forever, we'll see. i think its making it harder for the kids, seeing her face all over the place. so i took down framed photos, other ones, laminated ones. and i',m going to put away her barney and stuff that is on the table in my room. i'm making a special album of jessy. that way i'll go to it whenever i need. i am crying a lot too, but not in front of the kids.i am tired, so very tired. doctors cant find the cause of my chronic fatigue. it is beginning to rule my life, and i cant stay awake anywhere. its so hard. like the battle of life and everything else isnt enough, now ive got to fight against my own exhaustion.and i just cant sleep all the time, cos i have a family to look after. even a helper isnt enough. i can have help, someone watch the kids for FOUR HOURS, while i rest, and im STILL TIRED! its driving me insane.im just scared of life right now, just scared of what its still going to bring my way.i dont know if that saying is a load of rubbish "G-d only gives you what you can handle". ........ i cant handle what ive been given to handle. i am sore and tired, physically, mentally, emotionally. i am very very scared
Replies
It almost sounds to me like a nervous breakdown. I hope you take care of yourself and try to rest when you can. You need to get yourself back healthy. Stress and chaosis can cause alot on our bodies. I hope the drs can help out or figure things out for you. Maybe a med change, maybe to add a new med. Not sure but their should be some help out there. I am always here for you and you have a full plate.
I hope Jared can get some help not to be so angry, irritable and crying so easy. Erin was going through that hers was anxiety, seperation I noticed that from a young age and it was getting worse. They will also add a adhd med when we know this med is working. It is so hard to know what to do, how to fix everything and having so much going on. You are strong, and have a long road just like me! We can do it with the faith of god, the strength of god and to beleive! I am here anytime you need me! I am always thinking of you and I wish I could help you more. We just need to be here for one another and empower eachother, Rest and try to have a good day. Kelly
Your journal breaks my heart. I\'m very worried about you. Perhaps you need to see a different doctor. Don\'t give up, keep pushing the doctors for help. You have so much on your plate...I can\'t begin to imagine how you do it all. But darling you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. If you let yourself go for too long you may just end up in the hospital. Please keep asking for help...you need some major stress relief...don\'t stop asking until you get what you need. Do you have family members that can help out more with the kids? I just wish I could \"do\" something to help. Sending love and energy with all my heart, Teri.
Janice, your fatigue is from grief. Grieving is so hard on our bodies, minds, and souls. It sucks up all our energy!! That is what it is. It will get better. I know that right now it doesn\'t seem as though it will, but it will ease. You must take care of you in order to care for the others as Teri said. Perhaps, you could find someone to take the kids for the weekend, and just focus on YOU. Relax, sleep, bathe, whatever you want to do!!
I went through the same thing with the pictures of Heather. I had put them all over the place when she died. And then I would go and take them all down, because it became to painful. When I was ready I packed her things up, and I have some pictures in frames, and I made a scrapbook that I go to when I need that release. You need to do things when YOU are ready for them, and only you know when that is. I\'m sorry Jarod is having such a difficult time, this is very hard on our surviving children. I wish I knew something that could help him. Do you still have him in therapy? Do you think he needs a new counselor? There must be something that can help him, perhaps he just needs some time. I know it isn\'t much but I do keep you all in my prayers, and any time you need to talk or vent I am here for you!! Please, please get some rest and maybe go to a different doctor..... Love & hugs my friend.
Candice
I agree with Terri maybe you need different medical help. This is a long hard road and you can only do what you can do. Sending love and strength. hugs Cathy