little things happen a lot. today i was at a shopping mall, and was trying to pay for the parking card. the kids were fighting over who was going to get the coins out of the machine. and the 3 of them were really going at each other. i yelled at them to stop that behaviour.an elderly lady was standing behind me. she smiled at me and said, "dont worry dear, thats what children are all about, mine did the same when they were little.... and I HAD FOUR!" sometimes its so hard to get through the little but such painful moments in life. i chose not to make a scene or say anything untoward that would make her feel awkward, so i just smiled and said, wow, four must have been something! she said oh yes, it was. i just smiled then and left. khaely looked at me, she knew my pain but said nothing.
Replies
Sometimes it is best not to say anything...I still struggle with people asking me how many kids I have - do I say 3 & have to explain - which puts a real damper on the conversation or do I say 2 & let it go...I usually judge by how I am feeling & the circumstances of the conversation...so very hard to do....Hugs, Ann
oh brother. i probably would have said...\'i have 4 also..one is in spirit and is an angel\'...i have said that a few times..hey, if people cannot handle it, its their problem..you know what bothers me more? people who complain to me about their kids now...like i need to hear that....sending you hugs...and love
What a sweet, gentle way that you responded...it is hard and it would have just made the woman feel bad. You may not always be able to respond that way...but koodos for today...Love to you...Karen
a situation handled very well. you are really doing an amazing job, keep it up. i know it doesn\'t seem like you\'re doing a good job but you are. be easy with yourself. love and hugs, meg
Dont feel bad cause i get the look of she has too many kids cause my 3 kids and now i chose to raise my sisters kids, i feel like i should tell then why i have 3 but i decided what is so bad about having 5 kids, they are my life and i love them all, and they love me too. I am sorry that you have to feel like you should tell them you have four kids and one had to go to heaven, but you dont, you have her always with you she watching out for you and your family. You are a good mom and you did a good thing by not making it harder on you. love you camie
Those situations are so hard. You responded so elegantly. I have a hard time with only having my three kids now. Seems like too much free time. I want the noise, the messes and all the arguing again!!!! Some how we\'ll endure friend. Love to you. Robin
i absolutely understand what you\'re saying about the arguments... lol... but... you know what i miss... i miss the mess of shoes at the door... the same shoes that i used to say... what am I gonna have to do to make you put your shoes away.... funny.... how I would give anything to see 120 pair of shoes... at the door... okay... maybe not 120 pairs but at least 6... later bettyj.
chantil, exactly what im saying. it wasnt about the arguments. it was about the loss of my special child. jan
I think you answered her \"perfectly\" she didn\'t know and she was just being a mom, reassuring you it was just a brief moment in time compared to... well we know what it\'s compared too. You were so perfectly kind and didn\'t add pain to an otherwise innocent comment. You still amaze me and make me work harder to be a bit more human to the world around me(that has no clue about our losses and how much pain is in our hearts each and everyday). Hugs and Love, Vera
I\'m so with you with the arguing. That was so kind of that woman understanding, even though we feel so embaressed. Life sure is a journey. I\'m glad you made it through.