help!!

what is wrong with me?!i was doing so well. i know we go through phases, but mine seem a bit dramatic and it scares me to death.when i feel good, i feel real good and think i can help so many people, and i DO manage to do good things for people.but when i feel freaked, i feel so freaked it scares me. i feel so angry. not because its an angry phase coz jessy died.i feel angry because my sisters came for the unveiling, but i needed them for jessy's LIFE, for her ILLNESS, for the funeral, for the mourning period. not 8 months after she died. and i cant tell them that coz they left their kids to come to me and they would be very hurt. im angry becoz my kids came back, Thank G-d safely, today from spending 2 weeks with their dad. he is an abusive person and i hate him, and he says they were so "well behaved" with him. but they are scared of him. and they are emotional wrecks after this time. and i am devastated, and sad, and i feel helpless and afraid and angry. im also angry becoz my sister in law and family are really close to us, and we are good to each other, but when THEY feel like they cant cope they just SHUT OUT from the world, and they simply are "not available" so to speak. but when THEY feel better, they just come prancing into here, have no respect for my privacy, they just walk into the bedrooms, which is OUR PRIVATE SPACE, and they just walk into the kitchen and start making supper for themselves.  is it ME, or am i right in saying there's a bit of a limit as to how "welcome" you make yourself, EVEN in your sister in laws home!  and they messed with my kids routine, and they dont seem to show any problem with it at all. and i am angry because i am feeling terrible, and freaked out, and nervous and afraid. and i want to sleep, it feels like ive been drugged, and ive been to doctors. they just say its stress. but everyone thinks i am lazy and should get a job becoz we are battling financially. and i WANT to but i cant becoz i am tired and aching, AND becoz i have bipolar kids who need me 24/7 and people think i am making excuses. i am angry coz i want to just cry and scream, and i am angry at everyone, for everything.im getting help, i am with a psychiatrist, and i am on meds. some days, as i said, i do so well.what is wrong with me that i can get so angry?! and that i feel so freaked that im not even in control of myself that im scared of everything! im just angryand i am sad that jessy is dead