Finding out about a job within the next 48 hours, which is really stressing me out. I wanted to go for a run today, but I can't, in case they call me. Dan's in the bath, which is nice because we're generally stuck together 24/7 when I'm not at work. We're both fed up - he's sad and stressed, and so am I, so it's not a lot of fun.
Decided last night I was going to get a studio if I get this job. We talked this morning, and I've actually had a better idea: WE are going to get a flat in Watford. Commuting from Watford Junction would be much easier than commuting from here, and we'd still get to live together.
I mean, I think I want to live with him. He's my best friend. But right now, that's all he is. He doesn't feel like my boyfriend. He feels distant and cross, and all I seem to do is annoy him. We've lost our spark - there's no chemistry. Our sex life has rolled over and died. Even when we do stuff, I'm just not interested in him in the slightest. My sex drive has gone, and he just doesn't seem to be interested in me.
I'm just not happy. We're not happy. I mean, I've been ill for the last few days, and that hasn't helped. But we're not happy at all. I miss being us when we had fun and laughed and went out and couldn't get enough of each other.
I miss the Dan I knew when we met.