Dear Kitty,
being at home was wonderful. Everyone laughed so much and talked and just had a lot of fun, and it made me realise how much I miss it when I'm away.
So, I got the train back to Manchester on Wednesday morning, got across London, arrived at Manchester Piccadilly and smoked three cigarettes because I was stressed. Dan met me in Starbucks, where I was knitting and waiting for him with a mocha frappuccino (his) and a soy sugar-free iced caramel macchiato (mine). I was glad to see him - I think - but I was still really sad and upset, so we didn't say a lot. Our hug was about three minutes of him holding me really close, a hand twisted into my hair, and him saying 'I love you so much' every so often. We walked back to mine, and I was feeling better by the time we got home. I unpacked, and then we went to ASDA, which was oddly un-stressful with him there. That evening, we watched Monsters Inc. and cuddled, but I got sad again. He held me while I cried on him, and finally I explained the whole last week to him-
Well, I say 'explained'. It wasn't quite so simple. But I did, eventually, tell him about my suicidal thoughts. I know he's scared and worried, which is why I didn't want to tell him, but he says he's glad I did. Neither of us slept much that night. We both woke up at about three, after going to sleep at twelve, and then made out - well, it felt desperate. Like it was the last time we'd ever do it. We didn't get back to sleep until six, after we decided to watch an episode of Sooty, and then woke up again at twelve. He took me to see Monsters University that afternoon, and we watched Fantasia when we got back. On Friday, I made bread and a cake to take to the party we were going to at David's that night. The party was really great, actually - we sang 'If Ye Love Me' and just talked and talked! Dan and I ended up quite drunk and argued about Wednesday night on the way home.
On Saturday, we watched Brave and all the Disney Pixar shorts. Sunday meant that we had to go to church early in the morning, but it was ok because we all went out to The Knott for lunch afterwards. Dan and I ended up going to Mark and Olga's house together and we spent the rest of the day gaming, drinking and talking there. On Monday, we stayed in bed and read because it was raining. On Tuesday, I had a job interview in Urmston, and we walked all the way to The Trafford Centre afterwards! It was really fun; we went bowling and had lunch and went on the amusements and then ended up going round Ann Summers together and giggling like mad. I spanked him with all the paddles and whips I could find and generally misbehaved and was cheeky and terrible - which I paid for when I got home. He ended up spanking me hard ten times, and then I wasn't allowed to cum, and I had to be completely silent while he teased me, and - well, I really enjoyed it, in a strange way!
We went to the Gallery of Costume on Wednesday, and he teased me again at home. We couldn't decide on a thing to do that evening, though, and ended up arguing and then I got upset - and Dan worked out why after I almost burst into tears. He shushed me and pulled me into an enormous cuddle and stroked my head and said 'you know I wouldn't go tomorrow if I didn't have to'. I fell asleep quickly after that. On Thursday, he teased me again (!!!) and then took me to Oxfam to buy Sonic Heroes for PS2. We got ice cream on the way home, and stopped for a drink at the 'Spoons near me. When we got home, I put my pyjamas back on because it was so warm, and played Sonic Heroes, while trying to ignore how turned on I was and sulking. Eventually Dan took me upstairs and, when we'd finished, we talked about our anniversary and what we're going to do. I'm super excited! We left for the station at half seven and had a Starbucks before he got on his train. He looked like he was about to cry when he left, and he just didn't want to let me go. I didn't want him to, and, when we finally said goodbye, I ran all the way out of the station so I wouldn't cry in front of him.
Yesterday, Janie and I helped some Japanese students move into Manchester and took them to the supermarket (which was very stressful), and I've been given an induction to the 'Spoons where I had my job interview! I'm surprisingly excited about it.
I might be going to stay with Dan earlier than we'd planned, if I can change my ticket. I miss him, and I'm very excited. I'm sure that parting used to be easier on both of us. Tuesday was wonderful, though - the most D/s experience we've had, and I loved it! I like it when he's in charge - properly in charge, I mean, and not just in the sort of casual way he's in charge usually. I think I'd like to be in a more D/s relationship every day, though, and not just in the bedroom. How he'd feel about this, I'm not sure. I'm starting to think he'd like it, though!
Yours,
Chessie
being at home was wonderful. Everyone laughed so much and talked and just had a lot of fun, and it made me realise how much I miss it when I'm away.
So, I got the train back to Manchester on Wednesday morning, got across London, arrived at Manchester Piccadilly and smoked three cigarettes because I was stressed. Dan met me in Starbucks, where I was knitting and waiting for him with a mocha frappuccino (his) and a soy sugar-free iced caramel macchiato (mine). I was glad to see him - I think - but I was still really sad and upset, so we didn't say a lot. Our hug was about three minutes of him holding me really close, a hand twisted into my hair, and him saying 'I love you so much' every so often. We walked back to mine, and I was feeling better by the time we got home. I unpacked, and then we went to ASDA, which was oddly un-stressful with him there. That evening, we watched Monsters Inc. and cuddled, but I got sad again. He held me while I cried on him, and finally I explained the whole last week to him-
Well, I say 'explained'. It wasn't quite so simple. But I did, eventually, tell him about my suicidal thoughts. I know he's scared and worried, which is why I didn't want to tell him, but he says he's glad I did. Neither of us slept much that night. We both woke up at about three, after going to sleep at twelve, and then made out - well, it felt desperate. Like it was the last time we'd ever do it. We didn't get back to sleep until six, after we decided to watch an episode of Sooty, and then woke up again at twelve. He took me to see Monsters University that afternoon, and we watched Fantasia when we got back. On Friday, I made bread and a cake to take to the party we were going to at David's that night. The party was really great, actually - we sang 'If Ye Love Me' and just talked and talked! Dan and I ended up quite drunk and argued about Wednesday night on the way home.
On Saturday, we watched Brave and all the Disney Pixar shorts. Sunday meant that we had to go to church early in the morning, but it was ok because we all went out to The Knott for lunch afterwards. Dan and I ended up going to Mark and Olga's house together and we spent the rest of the day gaming, drinking and talking there. On Monday, we stayed in bed and read because it was raining. On Tuesday, I had a job interview in Urmston, and we walked all the way to The Trafford Centre afterwards! It was really fun; we went bowling and had lunch and went on the amusements and then ended up going round Ann Summers together and giggling like mad. I spanked him with all the paddles and whips I could find and generally misbehaved and was cheeky and terrible - which I paid for when I got home. He ended up spanking me hard ten times, and then I wasn't allowed to cum, and I had to be completely silent while he teased me, and - well, I really enjoyed it, in a strange way!
We went to the Gallery of Costume on Wednesday, and he teased me again at home. We couldn't decide on a thing to do that evening, though, and ended up arguing and then I got upset - and Dan worked out why after I almost burst into tears. He shushed me and pulled me into an enormous cuddle and stroked my head and said 'you know I wouldn't go tomorrow if I didn't have to'. I fell asleep quickly after that. On Thursday, he teased me again (!!!) and then took me to Oxfam to buy Sonic Heroes for PS2. We got ice cream on the way home, and stopped for a drink at the 'Spoons near me. When we got home, I put my pyjamas back on because it was so warm, and played Sonic Heroes, while trying to ignore how turned on I was and sulking. Eventually Dan took me upstairs and, when we'd finished, we talked about our anniversary and what we're going to do. I'm super excited! We left for the station at half seven and had a Starbucks before he got on his train. He looked like he was about to cry when he left, and he just didn't want to let me go. I didn't want him to, and, when we finally said goodbye, I ran all the way out of the station so I wouldn't cry in front of him.
Yesterday, Janie and I helped some Japanese students move into Manchester and took them to the supermarket (which was very stressful), and I've been given an induction to the 'Spoons where I had my job interview! I'm surprisingly excited about it.
I might be going to stay with Dan earlier than we'd planned, if I can change my ticket. I miss him, and I'm very excited. I'm sure that parting used to be easier on both of us. Tuesday was wonderful, though - the most D/s experience we've had, and I loved it! I like it when he's in charge - properly in charge, I mean, and not just in the sort of casual way he's in charge usually. I think I'd like to be in a more D/s relationship every day, though, and not just in the bedroom. How he'd feel about this, I'm not sure. I'm starting to think he'd like it, though!
Yours,
Chessie
Replies