Dear Kitty,
I was so incredibly miserable yesterday, on the way back from Evensong. I actually seriously considered what I like to call my 'escape plan' (no, it's not suicide), and I got back to my room, looked in the mirror, and said 'I don't know what to do'. For the first time ever, I honestly had no idea how to handle the situation I was in.
And then, after about two hours, I was still sitting at my desk and staring blankly at my computer screen when I suddenly had the urge to clear out my make-up bag. I was still upset, but, as I started to throw things away and sharpen eyeliners, I became less and less miserable, and I began to feel incredibly calm. Things just seemed to get better from there - I went through my wardrobe and took out the jumpers I'm going to make into cardigans, tried out new make-up looks, tried on my new skirt (which doesn't fit because M&S sizes are too big, but I'm going to take it in) and - well, I just felt so much better.
I'm not exactly 'happy' right now, but I'm not as lost as I was. I feel like it's going to be okay, even if it's not there yet - or, at least, I do if I don't think about Hector.
I honestly think that God saw me last night and knew I needed help from somewhere.
Yours,
Francesca
I was so incredibly miserable yesterday, on the way back from Evensong. I actually seriously considered what I like to call my 'escape plan' (no, it's not suicide), and I got back to my room, looked in the mirror, and said 'I don't know what to do'. For the first time ever, I honestly had no idea how to handle the situation I was in.
And then, after about two hours, I was still sitting at my desk and staring blankly at my computer screen when I suddenly had the urge to clear out my make-up bag. I was still upset, but, as I started to throw things away and sharpen eyeliners, I became less and less miserable, and I began to feel incredibly calm. Things just seemed to get better from there - I went through my wardrobe and took out the jumpers I'm going to make into cardigans, tried out new make-up looks, tried on my new skirt (which doesn't fit because M&S sizes are too big, but I'm going to take it in) and - well, I just felt so much better.
I'm not exactly 'happy' right now, but I'm not as lost as I was. I feel like it's going to be okay, even if it's not there yet - or, at least, I do if I don't think about Hector.
I honestly think that God saw me last night and knew I needed help from somewhere.
Yours,
Francesca
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