I found out last night that my uncle is in Manchester at the moment. I considered asking him if he wanted to get coffee or something with Cecily (I haven't seen him since before I left for Paris).
And then I decided that I couldn't possibly do that. My cousin has an eating disorder, and if I immediately panicked that, if he offered lunch or anything and I said no, he'd think I was copying her. And then I decided that I couldn't see him because both of my cousins are tiny, as is my aunt, and I don't want to be panicking that he's just comparing me to them in his head. I mean, I don't think he would, but the idea terrifies me.
I have to see all of them at Cecily's wedding in April. My cousins are both bridesmaids, and they're going to be so damn thin. I know I'm just going to feel enormous for the whole day - I know it.
Fuck. I'm terrified.