Dear Kitty,
Katie and Charlotte came to stay on Monday, and it's been brilliant. I picked Charlotte up at quarter to eleven, and we spent a few hours shopping in La Senza and trying things on in TK Maxx until we met Katie at three fifteen. We went for a drink with Dan and his friend Josh just afterwards, and spent a couple of hours in 'The Plough', just giggling and having fun. The girls like Dan, which is good. We (me and my family) got Charlotte and Katie into a game of 'Name That Tune' on Monday night, and then we (C, K and I) went and drank in the log cabin. We spent Tuesday in the vintage shops and the antiques emporium (and Primark) - I bought a petticoat, a pair of gloves and, for some strange reason, a cocktail shaker, and a see-thru blouse and bandeau top. It looks alright, surprisingly, and I'm planning on wearing it on Friday when I'm going out with Dan and his friends for the night, along with my green jeans and 'rain heels'. Charlotte left us at seven, and Katie and I got an early(ish) night when we got home. As for today? Well, Katie and I spent the morning in Primark until it was time for her to get her train. We saw a girl from school on the way to the station, and I felt a bit odd to be around her, because I just want to leave Oundle behind. It's fine with the girls etc., but there are so many people I don't want to see any more.
How tired I am hit me on the bus home, and I was in a bit of a funny mood when I got back. Mum offered to make me scrambled eggs for lunch, but when I saw that she didn't make it how I do (with skimmed milk in a non-stick pan), and that she'd put things like butter and cream in it, I couldn't eat it anymore and got all tense. I went off to play the piano instead, and she came in and was asking me questions and wouldn't leave me alone, and eventually Dad came in and said 'leave it, she's in a funny mood', and then came and sat down next to me on the piano stool, and I promptly burst into tears. He didn't push me for a reason as to why I was crying, and instead just put his arm around me and said 'it's a good thing you don't weigh much, otherwise we might break the piano stool', and that made me laugh. Not in the way that I usually do when people say things like that (a kind of derisive snort), but just because he's Dad and he can always cheer me up. I don't know what to do about my weight, Kitty - everything from the last two days has just hit me and I feel absolutely horrified at myself. For the first time ever, I weigh less than Katie - but she still looks so skinny and so much better than me. I feel like a bitch for complaining about this, but - oh, fuck, it's hard to explain.
Right, I'm going to tidy up my room and try on my new stuff. I bought lots of underwear when I was with the girls, and I want to see how it is. (Yes, I complain about being fat and then buy underwear. Normal, aren't I?)
Yours,
Francesca
Katie and Charlotte came to stay on Monday, and it's been brilliant. I picked Charlotte up at quarter to eleven, and we spent a few hours shopping in La Senza and trying things on in TK Maxx until we met Katie at three fifteen. We went for a drink with Dan and his friend Josh just afterwards, and spent a couple of hours in 'The Plough', just giggling and having fun. The girls like Dan, which is good. We (me and my family) got Charlotte and Katie into a game of 'Name That Tune' on Monday night, and then we (C, K and I) went and drank in the log cabin. We spent Tuesday in the vintage shops and the antiques emporium (and Primark) - I bought a petticoat, a pair of gloves and, for some strange reason, a cocktail shaker, and a see-thru blouse and bandeau top. It looks alright, surprisingly, and I'm planning on wearing it on Friday when I'm going out with Dan and his friends for the night, along with my green jeans and 'rain heels'. Charlotte left us at seven, and Katie and I got an early(ish) night when we got home. As for today? Well, Katie and I spent the morning in Primark until it was time for her to get her train. We saw a girl from school on the way to the station, and I felt a bit odd to be around her, because I just want to leave Oundle behind. It's fine with the girls etc., but there are so many people I don't want to see any more.
How tired I am hit me on the bus home, and I was in a bit of a funny mood when I got back. Mum offered to make me scrambled eggs for lunch, but when I saw that she didn't make it how I do (with skimmed milk in a non-stick pan), and that she'd put things like butter and cream in it, I couldn't eat it anymore and got all tense. I went off to play the piano instead, and she came in and was asking me questions and wouldn't leave me alone, and eventually Dad came in and said 'leave it, she's in a funny mood', and then came and sat down next to me on the piano stool, and I promptly burst into tears. He didn't push me for a reason as to why I was crying, and instead just put his arm around me and said 'it's a good thing you don't weigh much, otherwise we might break the piano stool', and that made me laugh. Not in the way that I usually do when people say things like that (a kind of derisive snort), but just because he's Dad and he can always cheer me up. I don't know what to do about my weight, Kitty - everything from the last two days has just hit me and I feel absolutely horrified at myself. For the first time ever, I weigh less than Katie - but she still looks so skinny and so much better than me. I feel like a bitch for complaining about this, but - oh, fuck, it's hard to explain.
Right, I'm going to tidy up my room and try on my new stuff. I bought lots of underwear when I was with the girls, and I want to see how it is. (Yes, I complain about being fat and then buy underwear. Normal, aren't I?)
Yours,
Francesca
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